WHO WILL WIN?
Alligator
BELLOW-CHOMP
Tapir
WHEE-SQUEAK
THE SETUP

Alligator vs Tapir

Alligator
Alligator
Tapir
Tapir

Pretend a alligator and a tapir meet in river country. Look at the facts. Then you pick.

Would they meet?

Yes. They could meet in the real wild. This page is still a what-if.

This is pretend and based on facts. Real animals usually hide or leave.

Read the facts. Make your card. The page waits to pick.

Corner A

Alligator

Alligator mississippiensis · A living log with a U-shaped grin.

Alligator
Home
American swamps · Lives in North America
Food
Meat
Group
Lives alone
Size
Alligator is big.

Ambush from the float.

Night river hunter.

Looks like a log with a secret.

  • Alligator is big and not very fast.
  • Fish, turtles, birds, mammals — swamp buffet, all you can chomp.
  • Freshwater marshes and slow rivers.

Family: Crocodiles and caimans.

Corner B

Tapir

Tapirus terrestris · A forest tank with a mini trunk.

Tapir
Home
South American rainforest · Lives in South America
Food
Plants
Group
Lives alone
Size
Tapir is big.

Browser with a mini-trunk.

Nose and hearing in thick green.

Shy tanklet.

  • Tapir is big and fast.
  • Leaves, fruit, and shoots.
  • Jungle near water.

Family: Horses and rhinos.

TO SCALE!

SIZE & WEIGHT

Stand them next to a grown-up. Who is bigger and heavier?

1.70 m

Grown-up

0.50 m

Alligator to scale

Alligator

1 m

Tapir to scale

Tapir

Height to scale. A grown-up is 1.7 m.

Alligator360 kg

Can stretch as long as a small car.

Tapir250 kg

About as heavy as a pony, with a nose that does extra homework.

Alligator

0.50 m · 360 kg

Alligator is big. 360 kg.

Tapir

1 m · 250 kg

Tapir is big. 250 kg.

Kilograms are honest. A small animal can still have a strong tool.

Who would you pick for size?

TOOLKIT!

TOOLS

Teeth, claws, horns, venom, kick — what tools do they have?

  • Weapon: Trapdoor jaws
  • Armor: Osteoderm jacket
  • Senses: Night river hunter.

Alligator · labeled field diagram

  • Weapon: Charge plus chomp
  • Armor: Thick hide
  • Senses: Nose and hearing in thick green.

Tapir · labeled field diagram

Alligator3000 psi bite
Tapir250 psi bite

Alligator

Trapdoor jaws

Tool: trapdoor jaws. Bite: 3,000 psi.

Tapir

Charge plus chomp

Tool: charge plus chomp. Bite: 250 psi.

A bite number is only one tool. Coils and kicks count too.

Whose tools would you trust?

ZOOM!

SPEED

Who gets there first?

Alligator
24 km/h
Tapir
48 km/h
Alligator24 km/h
Tapir48 km/h

Alligator

24 km/h

Alligator can go 24 km/h. That is not very fast.

Tapir

48 km/h

Tapir can go 48 km/h. That is fast.

A fast animal can miss. A slow one only has to connect.

Who takes the speed card?

HOME MAP!

HOME

They meet in river country. Who is built for this place?

N. AmericaS. AmericaEuropeAfricaAsiaAustraliaAntarctica
AlligatorTapirBoth

Meeting biome: river country. Colored land is where each animal actually lives.

Alligator

This is home · Lives in North America

Alligator lives in places like river country.

Tapir

This is home · Lives in South America

Tapir lives in places like river country.

Yes. They could meet in the real wild. This page is still a what-if.

Who gets the home point?

MENU!

FOOD

How do they get lunch?

Alligator
Meat · Ambush from the float.
Tapir
Plants · Browser with a mini-trunk.

Alligator

Meat · Ambush from the float.

Fish, turtles, birds, mammals — swamp buffet, all you can chomp.

Tapir

Plants · Browser with a mini-trunk.

Leaves, fruit, and shoots.

A plant eater is not 'safe.' Hippos and elephants still end arguments.

Whose hunting or defending helps more?

MOOD!

MOOD

Alone vs team. This rumble is one vs one.

Alligator
Lives alone
Tapir
Lives alone
Alligator7 grit /10
Tapir5 grit /10

Alligator

Lives alone

Looks like a log with a secret. Grit: 7/10.

Tapir

Lives alone

Shy tanklet. Grit: 5/10.

Pack and pride animals lose their backup in a 1-v-1.

Who is better for a solo meeting?

PING!

BRAINS

Who notices first and thinks next?

Alligator
4/10
Tapir
5/10
Alligator4 brains /10
Tapir5 brains /10

Alligator

4/10

Night river hunter.

Tapir

5/10

Nose and hearing in thick green.

In the wild, brains often mean leave before it starts.

Who would you score for noticing?

COUSINS!

FAMILY

Who are they related to?

Alligator
Alligator mississippiensis
Tapir
Tapirus terrestris

Alligator

Alligator mississippiensis

Crocodiles and caimans.

Tapir

Tapirus terrestris

Horses and rhinos.

Cousins are clues, not a score.

Not a fight point. Who has the wilder family story?

WILD CARD!

SPECIAL

What special move did they evolve?

Alligator
Gator-Gap Lunge
Tapir
Snorkel Splash-Off

Alligator

Gator-Gap Lunge

They wait like a stick.

Tapir

Snorkel Splash-Off

The snout is a mini trunk.

A secret move here is a real wild tool, not a video-game combo.

Whose special move would change the meeting?

YOUR SCORECARD

Your scorecard

Tap who has each fact. Then tap who you think wins.

  • SIZE & WEIGHT

  • TOOLS

  • SPEED

  • HOME

  • FOOD

  • MOOD

  • BRAINS

  • SPECIAL

Your card: Alligator 0 · Tapir 0 · still open 8

Who wins the meeting?

Keep going for the pretend meeting, then the science pick.

FWOOSH!

THEY MEET

Tapir runs first. Alligator does not race. They wait in river country.

Pretend · fact-based · not a gore-fest

KICK!

THE TOOLS SHOW UP

Alligator is heavier. Tapir uses charge plus chomp. Nobody is keeping a gore score.

Pretend · fact-based · not a gore-fest

STOOMP!

SPECIAL MOVES

Alligator tries the Gator-Gap Lunge. Tapir tries the Snorkel Splash-Off. Keep your card. The last page is next.

Pretend · fact-based · not a gore-fest

THE SCIENCE PICK

Alligator!

A STOMP

You skipped a final pick. The facts still stamp a champ.

On river country, Alligator wins. Alligator's trapdoor jaws helps more. Tapir would still win some meetings at home.

In the wild, most animals skip a fight. We still judge who the bodies and the place would favor.

Science card: Alligator 6 · Tapir 2.

Your card: Alligator 0 · Tapir 0.

The last page follows the whole animal — body plus home — not one bar chart.

Send this fight

A friend can read the same facts.

Victory lap · Alligator

Log? Nope. Champ.

Wikimedia Commons · CC. Source

1/17 · scroll