WHO WILL WIN?
Anaconda
SLITHER-WHOMP
Sea Lion
ARK-ARK-ARK
THE SETUP

Anaconda vs Sea Lion

Anaconda
Anaconda
Sea Lion
Sea Lion

Pretend a anaconda and a sea lion meet in the coast. Look at the facts. Then you pick.

Would they meet?

Almost never. Their homes sit next to each other.

This is pretend and based on facts. Real animals usually hide or leave.

Read the facts. Make your card. The page waits to pick.

Corner A

Anaconda

Eunectes murinus · A river rope that forgot it is allowed to be this heavy.

Anaconda
Home
Amazon rivers · Lives in South America
Food
Meat
Group
Lives alone
Size
Anaconda is big.

Wait in the water, coil, squeeze.

Heat pits plus a swimmer's patience.

Heavy and unhurried.

  • Anaconda is big and slow.
  • Capybara, fish, birds, caimans — if it comes to the water's edge, it is on the maybe list.
  • Slow rivers and swamps.

Family: Boas.

Corner B

Sea Lion

Zalophus californianus · A barking torpedo in a wet tuxedo.

Sea Lion
Home
Pacific coasts · Lives in North America
Food
Meat
Group
Lives in a big group
Size
Sea Lion is big.

Fish chaser in the surf.

Whiskers read fish in murk.

Playful and noisy.

  • Sea Lion is big and not very fast.
  • Fish, squid, and the occasional unfortunate leftover from the ocean buffet.
  • Rocky coasts and piers, where barking is a civic duty.

Family: Fur seals and walruses.

TO SCALE!

SIZE & WEIGHT

Stand them next to a grown-up. Who is bigger and heavier?

1.70 m

Grown-up

0.40 m

Anaconda to scale

Anaconda

1.20 m

Sea Lion to scale

Sea Lion

Height to scale. A grown-up is 1.7 m.

Anaconda200 kg

As heavy as a couple of grown-ups, longer than a classroom rug.

Sea Lion300 kg

As heavy as a couple of grown-ups, shaped like a barking sofa.

Anaconda

0.40 m · 200 kg

Anaconda is big. 200 kg.

Sea Lion

1.20 m · 300 kg

Sea Lion is big. 300 kg.

Kilograms are honest. A small animal can still have a strong tool.

Who would you pick for size?

TOOLKIT!

TOOLS

Teeth, claws, horns, venom, kick — what tools do they have?

  • Weapon: Coil squeeze
  • Armor: Water-slick muscle
  • Senses: Heat pits plus a swimmer's patience.

Anaconda · labeled field diagram

  • Weapon: Speed-bite plus flipper slap
  • Armor: Blubber wetsuit
  • Senses: Whiskers read fish in murk.

Sea Lion · labeled field diagram

Anaconda200 psi bite
Sea Lion400 psi bite

Anaconda

Coil squeeze

Tool: coil squeeze. Bite: 200 psi.

Sea Lion

Speed-bite plus flipper slap

Tool: speed-bite plus flipper slap. Bite: 400 psi.

A bite number is only one tool. Coils and kicks count too.

Whose tools would you trust?

ZOOM!

SPEED

Who gets there first?

Anaconda
8 km/h
Sea Lion
30 km/h
Anaconda8 km/h
Sea Lion30 km/h

Anaconda

8 km/h

Anaconda can go 8 km/h. That is slow.

Sea Lion

30 km/h

Sea Lion can go 30 km/h. That is not very fast.

A fast animal can miss. A slow one only has to connect.

Who takes the speed card?

HOME MAP!

HOME

They meet in the coast. Who is built for this place?

N. AmericaS. AmericaEuropeAfricaAsiaAustraliaAntarctica
AnacondaSea LionBoth

Meeting biome: the coast. Colored land is where each animal actually lives.

Anaconda

Can handle it · Lives in South America

Anaconda's home is the amazon rivers, not the coast.

Sea Lion

This is home · Lives in North America

Sea Lion lives in places like the coast.

Almost never. Their homes sit next to each other.

Who gets the home point?

MENU!

FOOD

How do they get lunch?

Anaconda
Meat · Wait in the water, coil, squeeze.
Sea Lion
Meat · Fish chaser in the surf.

Anaconda

Meat · Wait in the water, coil, squeeze.

Capybara, fish, birds, caimans — if it comes to the water's edge, it is on the maybe list.

Sea Lion

Meat · Fish chaser in the surf.

Fish, squid, and the occasional unfortunate leftover from the ocean buffet.

A plant eater is not 'safe.' Hippos and elephants still end arguments.

Whose hunting or defending helps more?

MOOD!

MOOD

Alone vs team. This rumble is one vs one.

Anaconda
Lives alone
Sea Lion
Lives in a big group
Anaconda8 grit /10
Sea Lion6 grit /10

Anaconda

Lives alone

Heavy and unhurried. Grit: 8/10.

Sea Lion

Lives in a big group

Playful and noisy. Grit: 6/10.

Pack and pride animals lose their backup in a 1-v-1.

Who is better for a solo meeting?

PING!

BRAINS

Who notices first and thinks next?

Anaconda
4/10
Sea Lion
6/10
Anaconda4 brains /10
Sea Lion6 brains /10

Anaconda

4/10

Heat pits plus a swimmer's patience.

Sea Lion

6/10

Whiskers read fish in murk.

In the wild, brains often mean leave before it starts.

Who would you score for noticing?

COUSINS!

FAMILY

Who are they related to?

Anaconda
Eunectes murinus
Sea Lion
Zalophus californianus

Anaconda

Eunectes murinus

Boas.

Sea Lion

Zalophus californianus

Fur seals and walruses.

Cousins are clues, not a score.

Not a fight point. Who has the wilder family story?

WILD CARD!

SPECIAL

What special move did they evolve?

Anaconda
Swamp Wrap
Sea Lion
Porpoise Missile

Anaconda

Swamp Wrap

They wait like a log.

Sea Lion

Porpoise Missile

They leap, twist, and snatch fish mid-zoom.

A secret move here is a real wild tool, not a video-game combo.

Whose special move would change the meeting?

YOUR SCORECARD

Your scorecard

Tap who has each fact. Then tap who you think wins.

  • SIZE & WEIGHT

  • TOOLS

  • SPEED

  • HOME

  • FOOD

  • MOOD

  • BRAINS

  • SPECIAL

Your card: Anaconda 0 · Sea Lion 0 · still open 8

Who wins the meeting?

Keep going for the pretend meeting, then the science pick.

WHAM!

THEY MEET

Sea Lion runs first. Anaconda does not race. They wait in the coast.

Pretend · fact-based · not a gore-fest

WHOOSH!

THE TOOLS SHOW UP

Sea Lion is heavier. Anaconda uses coil squeeze. Nobody is keeping a gore score.

Pretend · fact-based · not a gore-fest

ZING!

SPECIAL MOVES

Anaconda tries the Swamp Wrap. Sea Lion tries the Porpoise Missile. Keep your card. The last page is next.

Pretend · fact-based · not a gore-fest

THE SCIENCE PICK

Sea Lion!

A SQUEAKER

You skipped a final pick. The facts still stamp a champ.

On the coast, Sea Lion wins. Sea Lion likes the coast more. Anaconda would still win some meetings at home.

In the wild, most animals skip a fight. We still judge who the bodies and the place would favor.

Science card: Anaconda 4 · Sea Lion 4.

Your card: Anaconda 0 · Sea Lion 0.

The last page follows the whole animal — body plus home — not one bar chart.

Send this fight

A friend can read the same facts.

Victory lap · Sea Lion

Harbor barking. The champ has notes.

Sarah Stierch · Wikimedia Commons · CC BY. Source

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