WHO WILL WIN?
Chimpanzee
HOOT-PANT
Sea Lion
ARK-ARK-ARK
THE SETUP

Chimpanzee vs Sea Lion

Chimpanzee
Chimpanzee
Sea Lion
Sea Lion

Pretend a chimpanzee and a sea lion meet in the coast. Look at the facts. Then you pick.

Would they meet?

No. Wild chimpanzees and sea lions would not meet. We still look at the facts.

This is pretend and based on facts. Real animals usually hide or leave.

Read the facts. Make your card. The page waits to pick.

Corner A

Chimpanzee

Pan troglodytes · The tool-using cousin with a wild side.

Chimpanzee
Home
African rainforest · Lives in Africa
Food
Plants and meat
Group
Hunts with a pack
Size
Chimpanzee is medium.

Team hunters of monkeys plus a lot of fruit.

Face-readers.

Curious and political.

  • Chimpanzee is medium and fast.
  • Fruit first, plus insects, leaves, and sometimes meat.
  • Forest canopy and the ground beneath it — a two-story house.

Family: Humans, bonobos, gorillas.

Corner B

Sea Lion

Zalophus californianus · A barking torpedo in a wet tuxedo.

Sea Lion
Home
Pacific coasts · Lives in North America
Food
Meat
Group
Lives in a big group
Size
Sea Lion is big.

Fish chaser in the surf.

Whiskers read fish in murk.

Playful and noisy.

  • Sea Lion is big and not very fast.
  • Fish, squid, and the occasional unfortunate leftover from the ocean buffet.
  • Rocky coasts and piers, where barking is a civic duty.

Family: Fur seals and walruses.

TO SCALE!

SIZE & WEIGHT

Stand them next to a grown-up. Who is bigger and heavier?

1.70 m

Grown-up

1.20 m

Chimpanzee to scale

Chimpanzee

1.20 m

Sea Lion to scale

Sea Lion

Height to scale. A grown-up is 1.7 m.

Chimpanzee50 kg

About as heavy as a fifth-grader who can do pull-ups forever.

Sea Lion300 kg

As heavy as a couple of grown-ups, shaped like a barking sofa.

Chimpanzee

1.20 m · 50 kg

Chimpanzee is medium. 50 kg.

Sea Lion

1.20 m · 300 kg

Sea Lion is big. 300 kg.

Kilograms are honest. A small animal can still have a strong tool.

Who would you pick for size?

TOOLKIT!

TOOLS

Teeth, claws, horns, venom, kick — what tools do they have?

  • Weapon: Team tactics + ape bite
  • Armor: Think-fast reflexes
  • Senses: Face-readers.

Chimpanzee · labeled field diagram

  • Weapon: Speed-bite plus flipper slap
  • Armor: Blubber wetsuit
  • Senses: Whiskers read fish in murk.

Sea Lion · labeled field diagram

Chimpanzee1300 psi bite
Sea Lion400 psi bite

Chimpanzee

Team tactics + ape bite

Tool: team tactics + ape bite. Bite: 1,300 psi.

Sea Lion

Speed-bite plus flipper slap

Tool: speed-bite plus flipper slap. Bite: 400 psi.

A bite number is only one tool. Coils and kicks count too.

Whose tools would you trust?

ZOOM!

SPEED

Who gets there first?

Chimpanzee
40 km/h
Sea Lion
30 km/h
Chimpanzee40 km/h
Sea Lion30 km/h

Chimpanzee

40 km/h

Chimpanzee can go 40 km/h. That is fast.

Sea Lion

30 km/h

Sea Lion can go 30 km/h. That is not very fast.

A fast animal can miss. A slow one only has to connect.

Who takes the speed card?

HOME MAP!

HOME

They meet in the coast. Who is built for this place?

N. AmericaS. AmericaEuropeAfricaAsiaAustraliaAntarctica
ChimpanzeeSea LionBoth

Meeting biome: the coast. Colored land is where each animal actually lives.

Chimpanzee

Not their home · Lives in Africa

Chimpanzee's home is the african rainforest, not the coast.

Sea Lion

This is home · Lives in North America

Sea Lion lives in places like the coast.

No. Wild chimpanzees and sea lions would not meet. We still look at the facts.

Who gets the home point?

MENU!

FOOD

How do they get lunch?

Chimpanzee
Plants and meat · Team hunters of monkeys plus a lot of fruit.
Sea Lion
Meat · Fish chaser in the surf.

Chimpanzee

Plants and meat · Team hunters of monkeys plus a lot of fruit.

Fruit first, plus insects, leaves, and sometimes meat.

Sea Lion

Meat · Fish chaser in the surf.

Fish, squid, and the occasional unfortunate leftover from the ocean buffet.

A plant eater is not 'safe.' Hippos and elephants still end arguments.

Whose hunting or defending helps more?

MOOD!

MOOD

Alone vs team. This rumble is one vs one.

Chimpanzee
Hunts with a pack
Sea Lion
Lives in a big group
Chimpanzee8 grit /10
Sea Lion6 grit /10

Chimpanzee

Hunts with a pack

Curious and political. Grit: 8/10.

Sea Lion

Lives in a big group

Playful and noisy. Grit: 6/10.

Pack and pride animals lose their backup in a 1-v-1.

Who is better for a solo meeting?

PING!

BRAINS

Who notices first and thinks next?

Chimpanzee
10/10
Sea Lion
6/10
Chimpanzee10 brains /10
Sea Lion6 brains /10

Chimpanzee

10/10

Face-readers.

Sea Lion

6/10

Whiskers read fish in murk.

In the wild, brains often mean leave before it starts.

Who would you score for noticing?

COUSINS!

FAMILY

Who are they related to?

Chimpanzee
Pan troglodytes
Sea Lion
Zalophus californianus

Chimpanzee

Pan troglodytes

Humans, bonobos, gorillas.

Sea Lion

Zalophus californianus

Fur seals and walruses.

Cousins are clues, not a score.

Not a fight point. Who has the wilder family story?

WILD CARD!

SPECIAL

What special move did they evolve?

Chimpanzee
Stick-and-Stone Strategy
Sea Lion
Porpoise Missile

Chimpanzee

Stick-and-Stone Strategy

Wild chimps use tools: sticks for termites, stones for nuts, brains for everything else.

Sea Lion

Porpoise Missile

They leap, twist, and snatch fish mid-zoom.

A secret move here is a real wild tool, not a video-game combo.

Whose special move would change the meeting?

YOUR SCORECARD

Your scorecard

Tap who has each fact. Then tap who you think wins.

  • SIZE & WEIGHT

  • TOOLS

  • SPEED

  • HOME

  • FOOD

  • MOOD

  • BRAINS

  • SPECIAL

Your card: Chimpanzee 0 · Sea Lion 0 · still open 8

Who wins the meeting?

Keep going for the pretend meeting, then the science pick.

THWACK!

THEY MEET

Chimpanzee runs first. Sea Lion does not race. They wait in the coast.

Pretend · fact-based · not a gore-fest

SLAM!

THE TOOLS SHOW UP

Sea Lion is heavier. Chimpanzee uses team tactics + ape bite. Nobody is keeping a gore score.

Pretend · fact-based · not a gore-fest

POW!

SPECIAL MOVES

Chimpanzee tries the Stick-and-Stone Strategy. Sea Lion tries the Porpoise Missile. Keep your card. The last page is next.

Pretend · fact-based · not a gore-fest

THE SCIENCE PICK

Sea Lion!

A STOMP · UNDERDOG

You skipped a final pick. The facts still stamp a champ.

On the coast, Sea Lion wins. Sea Lion likes the coast more. Chimpanzee would still win some meetings at home.

In the wild, most animals skip a fight. We still judge who the bodies and the place would favor.

Science card: Chimpanzee 6 · Sea Lion 2.

Your card: Chimpanzee 0 · Sea Lion 0.

The last page follows the whole animal — body plus home — not one bar chart.

Send this fight

A friend can read the same facts.

Victory lap · Sea Lion

Harbor barking. The champ has notes.

Sarah Stierch · Wikimedia Commons · CC BY. Source

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