WHO WILL WIN?
Gorilla
HOOT-HOOT-BAM
Tapir
WHEE-SQUEAK
THE SETUP

Gorilla vs Tapir

Gorilla
Gorilla
Tapir
Tapir

Pretend a gorilla and a tapir meet in forest. Look at the facts. Then you pick.

Would they meet?

Yes. They could meet in the real wild. This page is still a what-if.

This is pretend and based on facts. Real animals usually hide or leave.

Read the facts. Make your card. The page waits to pick.

Corner A

Gorilla

Gorilla gorilla · A quiet giant until the chest-thump starts.

Gorilla
Home
African rainforest · Lives in Africa
Food
Plants
Group
Lives with family
Size
Gorilla is medium.

Forager.

Sharp eyes in the green.

Gentle until a family is threatened.

  • Gorilla is medium and fast.
  • Mostly leaves, stems, and fruit.
  • Dense forest is home.

Family: Chimpanzees, orangutans, and humans.

Corner B

Tapir

Tapirus terrestris · A forest tank with a mini trunk.

Tapir
Home
South American rainforest · Lives in South America
Food
Plants
Group
Lives alone
Size
Tapir is big.

Browser with a mini-trunk.

Nose and hearing in thick green.

Shy tanklet.

  • Tapir is big and fast.
  • Leaves, fruit, and shoots.
  • Jungle near water.

Family: Horses and rhinos.

TO SCALE!

SIZE & WEIGHT

Stand them next to a grown-up. Who is bigger and heavier?

1.70 m

Grown-up

1.70 m

Gorilla to scale

Gorilla

1 m

Tapir to scale

Tapir

Height to scale. A grown-up is 1.7 m.

Gorilla160 kg

As heavy as two kids in a backpack... if the backpack could bench-press a motorcycle.

Tapir250 kg

About as heavy as a pony, with a nose that does extra homework.

Gorilla

1.70 m · 160 kg

Gorilla is medium. 160 kg.

Tapir

1 m · 250 kg

Tapir is big. 250 kg.

Kilograms are honest. A small animal can still have a strong tool.

Who would you pick for size?

TOOLKIT!

TOOLS

Teeth, claws, horns, venom, kick — what tools do they have?

  • Weapon: Anvil fists + ape bite
  • Armor: Barrel chest
  • Senses: Sharp eyes in the green.

Gorilla · labeled field diagram

  • Weapon: Charge plus chomp
  • Armor: Thick hide
  • Senses: Nose and hearing in thick green.

Tapir · labeled field diagram

Gorilla1300 psi bite
Tapir250 psi bite

Gorilla

Anvil fists + ape bite

Tool: anvil fists + ape bite. Bite: 1,300 psi.

Tapir

Charge plus chomp

Tool: charge plus chomp. Bite: 250 psi.

A bite number is only one tool. Coils and kicks count too.

Whose tools would you trust?

ZOOM!

SPEED

Who gets there first?

Gorilla
40 km/h
Tapir
48 km/h
Gorilla40 km/h
Tapir48 km/h

Gorilla

40 km/h

Gorilla can go 40 km/h. That is fast.

Tapir

48 km/h

Tapir can go 48 km/h. That is fast.

A fast animal can miss. A slow one only has to connect.

Who takes the speed card?

HOME MAP!

HOME

They meet in forest. Who is built for this place?

N. AmericaS. AmericaEuropeAfricaAsiaAustraliaAntarctica
GorillaTapirBoth

Meeting biome: forest. Colored land is where each animal actually lives.

Gorilla

This is home · Lives in Africa

Gorilla lives in places like forest.

Tapir

This is home · Lives in South America

Tapir lives in places like forest.

Yes. They could meet in the real wild. This page is still a what-if.

Who gets the home point?

MENU!

FOOD

How do they get lunch?

Gorilla
Plants · Forager.
Tapir
Plants · Browser with a mini-trunk.

Gorilla

Plants · Forager.

Mostly leaves, stems, and fruit.

Tapir

Plants · Browser with a mini-trunk.

Leaves, fruit, and shoots.

A plant eater is not 'safe.' Hippos and elephants still end arguments.

Whose hunting or defending helps more?

MOOD!

MOOD

Alone vs team. This rumble is one vs one.

Gorilla
Lives with family
Tapir
Lives alone
Gorilla8 grit /10
Tapir5 grit /10

Gorilla

Lives with family

Gentle until a family is threatened. Grit: 8/10.

Tapir

Lives alone

Shy tanklet. Grit: 5/10.

Pack and pride animals lose their backup in a 1-v-1.

Who is better for a solo meeting?

PING!

BRAINS

Who notices first and thinks next?

Gorilla
9/10
Tapir
5/10
Gorilla9 brains /10
Tapir5 brains /10

Gorilla

9/10

Sharp eyes in the green.

Tapir

5/10

Nose and hearing in thick green.

In the wild, brains often mean leave before it starts.

Who would you score for noticing?

COUSINS!

FAMILY

Who are they related to?

Gorilla
Gorilla gorilla
Tapir
Tapirus terrestris

Gorilla

Gorilla gorilla

Chimpanzees, orangutans, and humans.

Tapir

Tapirus terrestris

Horses and rhinos.

Cousins are clues, not a score.

Not a fight point. Who has the wilder family story?

WILD CARD!

SPECIAL

What special move did they evolve?

Gorilla
Chest-Drum Charge
Tapir
Snorkel Splash-Off

Gorilla

Chest-Drum Charge

The chest beat is a warning.

Tapir

Snorkel Splash-Off

The snout is a mini trunk.

A secret move here is a real wild tool, not a video-game combo.

Whose special move would change the meeting?

YOUR SCORECARD

Your scorecard

Tap who has each fact. Then tap who you think wins.

  • SIZE & WEIGHT

  • TOOLS

  • SPEED

  • HOME

  • FOOD

  • MOOD

  • BRAINS

  • SPECIAL

Your card: Gorilla 0 · Tapir 0 · still open 8

Who wins the meeting?

Keep going for the pretend meeting, then the science pick.

THWACK!

THEY MEET

Tapir runs first. Gorilla does not race. They wait in forest.

Pretend · fact-based · not a gore-fest

SLAM!

THE TOOLS SHOW UP

Tapir is heavier. Gorilla uses anvil fists + ape bite. Nobody is keeping a gore score.

Pretend · fact-based · not a gore-fest

POW!

SPECIAL MOVES

Gorilla tries the Chest-Drum Charge. Tapir tries the Snorkel Splash-Off. Keep your card. The last page is next.

Pretend · fact-based · not a gore-fest

THE SCIENCE PICK

Gorilla!

A CLEAR PICK

You skipped a final pick. The facts still stamp a champ.

On forest, Gorilla wins. Gorilla's anvil fists + ape bite helps more. Tapir would still win some meetings at home.

In the wild, most animals skip a fight. We still judge who the bodies and the place would favor.

Science card: Gorilla 5 · Tapir 2 · ties 1.

Your card: Gorilla 0 · Tapir 0.

The last page follows the whole animal — body plus home — not one bar chart.

Send this fight

A friend can read the same facts.

Victory lap · Gorilla

Five seconds of gorilla. Blink and you miss the champ.

Raul654 · Wikimedia Commons · GFDL. Source

1/17 · scroll