WHO WILL WIN?
Hippo
HAAAWMP
Warthog
GRUNT-SQUEE
THE SETUP

Hippo vs Warthog

Hippo
Hippo
Warthog
Warthog

Pretend a hippo and a warthog meet in grassland. Look at the facts. Then you pick.

Would they meet?

Almost never. Their homes sit next to each other.

This is pretend and based on facts. Real animals usually hide or leave.

Read the facts. Make your card. The page waits to pick.

Corner A

Hippo

Hippopotamus amphibius · A floating boulder with kitchen-knife tusks.

Hippo
Home
African rivers and lakes · Lives in Africa
Food
Plants
Group
Lives in a herd
Size
Hippo is huge.

Grazer by night.

Ears, eyes, and nostrils sit on top of the head like a submarine periscope.

Famous for a short fuse in the river.

  • Hippo is huge and not very fast.
  • Hippos graze grass at night.
  • They own the river.

Family: Whales and dolphins!

Corner B

Warthog

Phacochoerus africanus · A tusked sprinter who reverse-parks into burrows.

Warthog
Home
African savanna · Lives in Africa
Food
Plants and meat
Group
Lives with family
Size
Warthog is medium.

Rooter.

A snout for bulbs and danger.

Looks comic, fights like a small rhino with opinions.

  • Warthog is medium and fast.
  • Grass, roots, and leftovers.
  • Open woodland with aardvark burrows for rent.

Family: Pigs and wild boar.

TO SCALE!

SIZE & WEIGHT

Stand them next to a grown-up. Who is bigger and heavier?

1.70 m

Grown-up

1.50 m

Hippo to scale

Hippo

0.70 m

Warthog to scale

Warthog

Height to scale. A grown-up is 1.7 m.

Hippo1,500 kg

About as heavy as a small car, with a much bigger attitude.

Warthog80 kg

About as heavy as a big dog, with a tail that flags like an antenna.

Hippo

1.50 m · 1,500 kg

Hippo is huge. 1,500 kg.

Warthog

0.70 m · 80 kg

Warthog is medium. 80 kg.

Kilograms are honest. A small animal can still have a strong tool.

Who would you pick for size?

TOOLKIT!

TOOLS

Teeth, claws, horns, venom, kick — what tools do they have?

  • Weapon: Tusk-lined cave mouth
  • Armor: Cannonball body
  • Senses: Ears, eyes, and nostrils sit on top of the head like a submarine periscope.

Hippo · labeled field diagram

  • Weapon: Curved tusks
  • Armor: Facial warts
  • Senses: A snout for bulbs and danger.

Warthog · labeled field diagram

Hippo1800 psi bite
Warthog300 psi bite

Hippo

Tusk-lined cave mouth

Tool: tusk-lined cave mouth. Bite: 1,800 psi.

Warthog

Curved tusks

Tool: curved tusks. Bite: 300 psi.

A bite number is only one tool. Coils and kicks count too.

Whose tools would you trust?

ZOOM!

SPEED

Who gets there first?

Hippo
30 km/h
Warthog
55 km/h
Hippo30 km/h
Warthog55 km/h

Hippo

30 km/h

Hippo can go 30 km/h. That is not very fast.

Warthog

55 km/h

Warthog can go 55 km/h. That is fast.

A fast animal can miss. A slow one only has to connect.

Who takes the speed card?

HOME MAP!

HOME

They meet in grassland. Who is built for this place?

N. AmericaS. AmericaEuropeAfricaAsiaAustraliaAntarctica
HippoWarthogBoth

Meeting biome: grassland. Colored land is where each animal actually lives.

Hippo

Not their home · Lives in Africa

Hippo's home is the african rivers and lakes, not grassland.

Warthog

This is home · Lives in Africa

Warthog lives in places like grassland.

Almost never. Their homes sit next to each other.

Who gets the home point?

MENU!

FOOD

How do they get lunch?

Hippo
Plants · Grazer by night.
Warthog
Plants and meat · Rooter.

Hippo

Plants · Grazer by night.

Hippos graze grass at night.

Warthog

Plants and meat · Rooter.

Grass, roots, and leftovers.

A plant eater is not 'safe.' Hippos and elephants still end arguments.

Whose hunting or defending helps more?

MOOD!

MOOD

Alone vs team. This rumble is one vs one.

Hippo
Lives in a herd
Warthog
Lives with family
Hippo10 grit /10
Warthog8 grit /10

Hippo

Lives in a herd

Famous for a short fuse in the river. Grit: 10/10.

Warthog

Lives with family

Looks comic, fights like a small rhino with opinions. Grit: 8/10.

Pack and pride animals lose their backup in a 1-v-1.

Who is better for a solo meeting?

PING!

BRAINS

Who notices first and thinks next?

Hippo
5/10
Warthog
5/10
Hippo5 brains /10
Warthog5 brains /10

Hippo

5/10

Ears, eyes, and nostrils sit on top of the head like a submarine periscope.

Warthog

5/10

A snout for bulbs and danger.

In the wild, brains often mean leave before it starts.

Who would you score for noticing?

COUSINS!

FAMILY

Who are they related to?

Hippo
Hippopotamus amphibius
Warthog
Phacochoerus africanus

Hippo

Hippopotamus amphibius

Whales and dolphins!

Warthog

Phacochoerus africanus

Pigs and wild boar.

Cousins are clues, not a score.

Not a fight point. Who has the wilder family story?

WILD CARD!

SPECIAL

What special move did they evolve?

Hippo
River Rage Charge
Warthog
Tail-Up Reverse Park

Hippo

River Rage Charge

Hippos look chill in the water.

Warthog

Tail-Up Reverse Park

They run into dens backward so tusks face the door.

A secret move here is a real wild tool, not a video-game combo.

Whose special move would change the meeting?

YOUR SCORECARD

Your scorecard

Tap who has each fact. Then tap who you think wins.

  • SIZE & WEIGHT

  • TOOLS

  • SPEED

  • HOME

  • FOOD

  • MOOD

  • BRAINS

  • SPECIAL

Your card: Hippo 0 · Warthog 0 · still open 8

Who wins the meeting?

Keep going for the pretend meeting, then the science pick.

THWACK!

THEY MEET

Warthog runs first. Hippo does not race. They wait in grassland.

Pretend · fact-based · not a gore-fest

SLAM!

THE TOOLS SHOW UP

Hippo is heavier. Warthog uses curved tusks. Nobody is keeping a gore score.

Pretend · fact-based · not a gore-fest

POW!

SPECIAL MOVES

Hippo tries the River Rage Charge. Warthog tries the Tail-Up Reverse Park. Keep your card. The last page is next.

Pretend · fact-based · not a gore-fest

THE SCIENCE PICK

Hippo!

A STOMP

You skipped a final pick. The facts still stamp a champ.

On grassland, Hippo wins. Hippo is a lot heavier. Warthog would still win some meetings at home.

In the wild, most animals skip a fight. We still judge who the bodies and the place would favor.

Science card: Hippo 5 · Warthog 2 · ties 1.

Your card: Hippo 0 · Warthog 0.

The last page follows the whole animal — body plus home — not one bar chart.

Send this fight

A friend can read the same facts.

Victory lap · Hippo

Baby hippo. Rain. The rumble can wait.

Giles Laurent · Wikimedia Commons · CC BY-SA. Source

1/17 · scroll