WHO WILL WIN?
Hyena
WHOOP-HAHA
Baboon
WAHOO-BARK
THE SETUP

Hyena vs Baboon

Hyena
Hyena
Baboon
Baboon

Pretend a hyena and a baboon meet in grassland. Look at the facts. Then you pick.

Would they meet?

Yes. They could meet in the real wild. This page is still a what-if.

This is pretend and based on facts. Real animals usually hide or leave.

Read the facts. Make your card. The page waits to pick.

Corner A

Hyena

Crocuta crocuta · The bone-crunching comedian of the savanna.

Hyena
Home
African savanna · Lives in Africa
Food
Meat
Group
Hunts with a pack
Size
Hyena is medium.

Clan chasers and bone-crushers.

Night hunters with a nose for leftovers and a bite that opens bones.

Bold in a clan.

  • Hyena is medium and fast.
  • They hunt more than they scavenge.
  • Open grassland where clans can hear each other across the night.

Family: Not dogs.

Corner B

Baboon

Papio anubis · A troop-tough primate with serious canine teeth.

Baboon
Home
African savanna · Lives in Africa
Food
Plants and meat
Group
Hunts with a pack
Size
Baboon is small.

Omnivore troop.

Sharp eyes on the ground.

Bold, loud, and political.

  • Baboon is small and fast.
  • Fruit, grass, insects, and the occasional small animal.
  • Open country with cliffs for sleeping.

Family: Mandrills and geladas — the big-monkey cousin group.

TO SCALE!

SIZE & WEIGHT

Stand them next to a grown-up. Who is bigger and heavier?

1.70 m

Grown-up

0.85 m

Hyena to scale

Hyena

0.70 m

Baboon to scale

Baboon

Height to scale. A grown-up is 1.7 m.

Hyena70 kg

About as heavy as a big dog that skipped every 'drop it' lesson.

Baboon30 kg

About as heavy as a first-grader who lifts.

Hyena

0.85 m · 70 kg

Hyena is medium. 70 kg.

Baboon

0.70 m · 30 kg

Baboon is small. 30 kg.

Kilograms are honest. A small animal can still have a strong tool.

Who would you pick for size?

TOOLKIT!

TOOLS

Teeth, claws, horns, venom, kick — what tools do they have?

  • Weapon: Bone-blender jaws
  • Armor: Scrappy stamina
  • Senses: Night hunters with a nose for leftovers and a bite that opens bones.

Hyena · labeled field diagram

  • Weapon: Dagger canines
  • Armor: Troop backup
  • Senses: Sharp eyes on the ground.

Baboon · labeled field diagram

Hyena1100 psi bite
Baboon800 psi bite

Hyena

Bone-blender jaws

Tool: bone-blender jaws. Bite: 1,100 psi.

Baboon

Dagger canines

Tool: dagger canines. Bite: 800 psi.

A bite number is only one tool. Coils and kicks count too.

Whose tools would you trust?

ZOOM!

SPEED

Who gets there first?

Hyena
60 km/h
Baboon
45 km/h
Hyena60 km/h
Baboon45 km/h

Hyena

60 km/h

Hyena can go 60 km/h. That is fast.

Baboon

45 km/h

Baboon can go 45 km/h. That is fast.

A fast animal can miss. A slow one only has to connect.

Who takes the speed card?

HOME MAP!

HOME

They meet in grassland. Who is built for this place?

N. AmericaS. AmericaEuropeAfricaAsiaAustraliaAntarctica
HyenaBaboonBoth

Meeting biome: grassland. Colored land is where each animal actually lives.

Hyena

This is home · Lives in Africa

Hyena lives in places like grassland.

Baboon

This is home · Lives in Africa

Baboon lives in places like grassland.

Yes. They could meet in the real wild. This page is still a what-if.

Who gets the home point?

MENU!

FOOD

How do they get lunch?

Hyena
Meat · Clan chasers and bone-crushers.
Baboon
Plants and meat · Omnivore troop.

Hyena

Meat · Clan chasers and bone-crushers.

They hunt more than they scavenge.

Baboon

Plants and meat · Omnivore troop.

Fruit, grass, insects, and the occasional small animal.

A plant eater is not 'safe.' Hippos and elephants still end arguments.

Whose hunting or defending helps more?

MOOD!

MOOD

Alone vs team. This rumble is one vs one.

Hyena
Hunts with a pack
Baboon
Hunts with a pack
Hyena9 grit /10
Baboon8 grit /10

Hyena

Hunts with a pack

Bold in a clan. Grit: 9/10.

Baboon

Hunts with a pack

Bold, loud, and political. Grit: 8/10.

Pack and pride animals lose their backup in a 1-v-1.

Who is better for a solo meeting?

PING!

BRAINS

Who notices first and thinks next?

Hyena
7/10
Baboon
8/10
Hyena7 brains /10
Baboon8 brains /10

Hyena

7/10

Night hunters with a nose for leftovers and a bite that opens bones.

Baboon

8/10

Sharp eyes on the ground.

In the wild, brains often mean leave before it starts.

Who would you score for noticing?

COUSINS!

FAMILY

Who are they related to?

Hyena
Crocuta crocuta
Baboon
Papio anubis

Hyena

Crocuta crocuta

Not dogs.

Baboon

Papio anubis

Mandrills and geladas — the big-monkey cousin group.

Cousins are clues, not a score.

Not a fight point. Who has the wilder family story?

WILD CARD!

SPECIAL

What special move did they evolve?

Hyena
Whoop-and-Swarm
Baboon
Alarm-Bark Charge

Hyena

Whoop-and-Swarm

The laugh is a call, not a joke.

Baboon

Alarm-Bark Charge

They spot leopards from a long way off, shout the news, and sometimes mob the threat.

A secret move here is a real wild tool, not a video-game combo.

Whose special move would change the meeting?

YOUR SCORECARD

Your scorecard

Tap who has each fact. Then tap who you think wins.

  • SIZE & WEIGHT

  • TOOLS

  • SPEED

  • HOME

  • FOOD

  • MOOD

  • BRAINS

  • SPECIAL

Your card: Hyena 0 · Baboon 0 · still open 8

Who wins the meeting?

Keep going for the pretend meeting, then the science pick.

THWACK!

THEY MEET

Hyena runs first. Baboon does not race. They wait in grassland.

Pretend · fact-based · not a gore-fest

SLAM!

THE TOOLS SHOW UP

Hyena is heavier. Baboon uses dagger canines. Nobody is keeping a gore score.

Pretend · fact-based · not a gore-fest

POW!

SPECIAL MOVES

Hyena tries the Whoop-and-Swarm. Baboon tries the Alarm-Bark Charge. Keep your card. The last page is next.

Pretend · fact-based · not a gore-fest

THE SCIENCE PICK

Hyena!

A CLEAR PICK

You skipped a final pick. The facts still stamp a champ.

On grassland, Hyena wins. Hyena is a lot heavier. Baboon would still win some meetings at home.

In the wild, most animals skip a fight. We still judge who the bodies and the place would favor.

Science card: Hyena 4 · Baboon 1 · ties 3.

Your card: Hyena 0 · Baboon 0.

The last page follows the whole animal — body plus home — not one bar chart.

Send this fight

A friend can read the same facts.

Also starring · Baboon

Yawn so big it counts as a roar.

Wikimedia Commons · CC. Source

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