WHO WILL WIN?
Hyena
WHOOP-HAHA
Tapir
WHEE-SQUEAK
THE SETUP

Hyena vs Tapir

Hyena
Hyena
Tapir
Tapir

Pretend a hyena and a tapir meet in forest. Look at the facts. Then you pick.

Would they meet?

Almost never. Their homes sit next to each other.

This is pretend and based on facts. Real animals usually hide or leave.

Read the facts. Make your card. The page waits to pick.

Corner A

Hyena

Crocuta crocuta · The bone-crunching comedian of the savanna.

Hyena
Home
African savanna · Lives in Africa
Food
Meat
Group
Hunts with a pack
Size
Hyena is medium.

Clan chasers and bone-crushers.

Night hunters with a nose for leftovers and a bite that opens bones.

Bold in a clan.

  • Hyena is medium and fast.
  • They hunt more than they scavenge.
  • Open grassland where clans can hear each other across the night.

Family: Not dogs.

Corner B

Tapir

Tapirus terrestris · A forest tank with a mini trunk.

Tapir
Home
South American rainforest · Lives in South America
Food
Plants
Group
Lives alone
Size
Tapir is big.

Browser with a mini-trunk.

Nose and hearing in thick green.

Shy tanklet.

  • Tapir is big and fast.
  • Leaves, fruit, and shoots.
  • Jungle near water.

Family: Horses and rhinos.

TO SCALE!

SIZE & WEIGHT

Stand them next to a grown-up. Who is bigger and heavier?

1.70 m

Grown-up

0.85 m

Hyena to scale

Hyena

1 m

Tapir to scale

Tapir

Height to scale. A grown-up is 1.7 m.

Hyena70 kg

About as heavy as a big dog that skipped every 'drop it' lesson.

Tapir250 kg

About as heavy as a pony, with a nose that does extra homework.

Hyena

0.85 m · 70 kg

Hyena is medium. 70 kg.

Tapir

1 m · 250 kg

Tapir is big. 250 kg.

Kilograms are honest. A small animal can still have a strong tool.

Who would you pick for size?

TOOLKIT!

TOOLS

Teeth, claws, horns, venom, kick — what tools do they have?

  • Weapon: Bone-blender jaws
  • Armor: Scrappy stamina
  • Senses: Night hunters with a nose for leftovers and a bite that opens bones.

Hyena · labeled field diagram

  • Weapon: Charge plus chomp
  • Armor: Thick hide
  • Senses: Nose and hearing in thick green.

Tapir · labeled field diagram

Hyena1100 psi bite
Tapir250 psi bite

Hyena

Bone-blender jaws

Tool: bone-blender jaws. Bite: 1,100 psi.

Tapir

Charge plus chomp

Tool: charge plus chomp. Bite: 250 psi.

A bite number is only one tool. Coils and kicks count too.

Whose tools would you trust?

ZOOM!

SPEED

Who gets there first?

Hyena
60 km/h
Tapir
48 km/h
Hyena60 km/h
Tapir48 km/h

Hyena

60 km/h

Hyena can go 60 km/h. That is fast.

Tapir

48 km/h

Tapir can go 48 km/h. That is fast.

A fast animal can miss. A slow one only has to connect.

Who takes the speed card?

HOME MAP!

HOME

They meet in forest. Who is built for this place?

N. AmericaS. AmericaEuropeAfricaAsiaAustraliaAntarctica
HyenaTapirBoth

Meeting biome: forest. Colored land is where each animal actually lives.

Hyena

Can handle it · Lives in Africa

Hyena's home is the african savanna, not forest.

Tapir

This is home · Lives in South America

Tapir lives in places like forest.

Almost never. Their homes sit next to each other.

Who gets the home point?

MENU!

FOOD

How do they get lunch?

Hyena
Meat · Clan chasers and bone-crushers.
Tapir
Plants · Browser with a mini-trunk.

Hyena

Meat · Clan chasers and bone-crushers.

They hunt more than they scavenge.

Tapir

Plants · Browser with a mini-trunk.

Leaves, fruit, and shoots.

A plant eater is not 'safe.' Hippos and elephants still end arguments.

Whose hunting or defending helps more?

MOOD!

MOOD

Alone vs team. This rumble is one vs one.

Hyena
Hunts with a pack
Tapir
Lives alone
Hyena9 grit /10
Tapir5 grit /10

Hyena

Hunts with a pack

Bold in a clan. Grit: 9/10.

Tapir

Lives alone

Shy tanklet. Grit: 5/10.

Pack and pride animals lose their backup in a 1-v-1.

Who is better for a solo meeting?

PING!

BRAINS

Who notices first and thinks next?

Hyena
7/10
Tapir
5/10
Hyena7 brains /10
Tapir5 brains /10

Hyena

7/10

Night hunters with a nose for leftovers and a bite that opens bones.

Tapir

5/10

Nose and hearing in thick green.

In the wild, brains often mean leave before it starts.

Who would you score for noticing?

COUSINS!

FAMILY

Who are they related to?

Hyena
Crocuta crocuta
Tapir
Tapirus terrestris

Hyena

Crocuta crocuta

Not dogs.

Tapir

Tapirus terrestris

Horses and rhinos.

Cousins are clues, not a score.

Not a fight point. Who has the wilder family story?

WILD CARD!

SPECIAL

What special move did they evolve?

Hyena
Whoop-and-Swarm
Tapir
Snorkel Splash-Off

Hyena

Whoop-and-Swarm

The laugh is a call, not a joke.

Tapir

Snorkel Splash-Off

The snout is a mini trunk.

A secret move here is a real wild tool, not a video-game combo.

Whose special move would change the meeting?

YOUR SCORECARD

Your scorecard

Tap who has each fact. Then tap who you think wins.

  • SIZE & WEIGHT

  • TOOLS

  • SPEED

  • HOME

  • FOOD

  • MOOD

  • BRAINS

  • SPECIAL

Your card: Hyena 0 · Tapir 0 · still open 8

Who wins the meeting?

Keep going for the pretend meeting, then the science pick.

FWOOSH!

THEY MEET

Hyena runs first. Tapir does not race. They wait in forest.

Pretend · fact-based · not a gore-fest

KICK!

THE TOOLS SHOW UP

Tapir is heavier. Hyena uses bone-blender jaws. Nobody is keeping a gore score.

Pretend · fact-based · not a gore-fest

STOOMP!

SPECIAL MOVES

Hyena tries the Whoop-and-Swarm. Tapir tries the Snorkel Splash-Off. Keep your card. The last page is next.

Pretend · fact-based · not a gore-fest

THE SCIENCE PICK

Tapir!

A CLEAR PICK · UNDERDOG

You skipped a final pick. The facts still stamp a champ.

On forest, Tapir wins. Tapir likes forest more. Hyena would still win some meetings at home.

In the wild, most animals skip a fight. We still judge who the bodies and the place would favor.

Science card: Hyena 6 · Tapir 2.

Your card: Hyena 0 · Tapir 0.

The last page follows the whole animal — body plus home — not one bar chart.

Send this fight

A friend can read the same facts.

1/17 · scroll