WHO WILL WIN?
Hyena
WHOOP-HAHA
Tortoise
HISS-HMPH
THE SETUP

Hyena vs Tortoise

Hyena
Hyena
Tortoise
Tortoise

Pretend a hyena and a tortoise meet in the island. Look at the facts. Then you pick.

Would they meet?

Almost never. Their homes sit next to each other.

This is pretend and based on facts. Real animals usually hide or leave.

Read the facts. Make your card. The page waits to pick.

Corner A

Hyena

Crocuta crocuta · The bone-crunching comedian of the savanna.

Hyena
Home
African savanna · Lives in Africa
Food
Meat
Group
Hunts with a pack
Size
Hyena is medium.

Clan chasers and bone-crushers.

Night hunters with a nose for leftovers and a bite that opens bones.

Bold in a clan.

  • Hyena is medium and fast.
  • They hunt more than they scavenge.
  • Open grassland where clans can hear each other across the night.

Family: Not dogs.

Corner B

Tortoise

Chelonoidis niger · A walking bunker that outlives arguments.

Tortoise
Home
Galápagos islands · Lives in South America
Food
Plants
Group
Lives alone
Size
Tortoise is big.

Browser.

They feel footsteps.

Unbothered fortress.

  • Tortoise is big and slow.
  • Cactus, grass, and island plants.
  • Dry islands where going slowly uses less water and fewer bad ideas.

Family: Turtles and terrapins.

TO SCALE!

SIZE & WEIGHT

Stand them next to a grown-up. Who is bigger and heavier?

1.70 m

Grown-up

0.85 m

Hyena to scale

Hyena

0.50 m

Tortoise to scale

Tortoise

Height to scale. A grown-up is 1.7 m.

Hyena70 kg

About as heavy as a big dog that skipped every 'drop it' lesson.

Tortoise250 kg

As heavy as a grown-up, shaped like a helmet that learned to walk.

Hyena

0.85 m · 70 kg

Hyena is medium. 70 kg.

Tortoise

0.50 m · 250 kg

Tortoise is big. 250 kg.

Kilograms are honest. A small animal can still have a strong tool.

Who would you pick for size?

TOOLKIT!

TOOLS

Teeth, claws, horns, venom, kick — what tools do they have?

  • Weapon: Bone-blender jaws
  • Armor: Scrappy stamina
  • Senses: Night hunters with a nose for leftovers and a bite that opens bones.

Hyena · labeled field diagram

  • Weapon: Beak ram
  • Armor: Dome fortress
  • Senses: They feel footsteps.

Tortoise · labeled field diagram

Hyena1100 psi bite
Tortoise200 psi bite

Hyena

Bone-blender jaws

Tool: bone-blender jaws. Bite: 1,100 psi.

Tortoise

Beak ram

Tool: beak ram. Bite: 200 psi.

A bite number is only one tool. Coils and kicks count too.

Whose tools would you trust?

ZOOM!

SPEED

Who gets there first?

Hyena
60 km/h
Tortoise
1 km/h
Hyena60 km/h
Tortoise1 km/h

Hyena

60 km/h

Hyena can go 60 km/h. That is fast.

Tortoise

1 km/h

Tortoise can go 1 km/h. That is slow.

A fast animal can miss. A slow one only has to connect.

Who takes the speed card?

HOME MAP!

HOME

They meet in the island. Who is built for this place?

N. AmericaS. AmericaEuropeAfricaAsiaAustraliaAntarctica
HyenaTortoiseBoth

Meeting biome: the island. Colored land is where each animal actually lives.

Hyena

Not their home · Lives in Africa

Hyena's home is the african savanna, not the island.

Tortoise

This is home · Lives in South America

Tortoise lives in places like the island.

Almost never. Their homes sit next to each other.

Who gets the home point?

MENU!

FOOD

How do they get lunch?

Hyena
Meat · Clan chasers and bone-crushers.
Tortoise
Plants · Browser.

Hyena

Meat · Clan chasers and bone-crushers.

They hunt more than they scavenge.

Tortoise

Plants · Browser.

Cactus, grass, and island plants.

A plant eater is not 'safe.' Hippos and elephants still end arguments.

Whose hunting or defending helps more?

MOOD!

MOOD

Alone vs team. This rumble is one vs one.

Hyena
Hunts with a pack
Tortoise
Lives alone
Hyena9 grit /10
Tortoise6 grit /10

Hyena

Hunts with a pack

Bold in a clan. Grit: 9/10.

Tortoise

Lives alone

Unbothered fortress. Grit: 6/10.

Pack and pride animals lose their backup in a 1-v-1.

Who is better for a solo meeting?

PING!

BRAINS

Who notices first and thinks next?

Hyena
7/10
Tortoise
3/10
Hyena7 brains /10
Tortoise3 brains /10

Hyena

7/10

Night hunters with a nose for leftovers and a bite that opens bones.

Tortoise

3/10

They feel footsteps.

In the wild, brains often mean leave before it starts.

Who would you score for noticing?

COUSINS!

FAMILY

Who are they related to?

Hyena
Crocuta crocuta
Tortoise
Chelonoidis niger

Hyena

Crocuta crocuta

Not dogs.

Tortoise

Chelonoidis niger

Turtles and terrapins.

Cousins are clues, not a score.

Not a fight point. Who has the wilder family story?

WILD CARD!

SPECIAL

What special move did they evolve?

Hyena
Whoop-and-Swarm
Tortoise
Tuck and Outlast

Hyena

Whoop-and-Swarm

The laugh is a call, not a joke.

Tortoise

Tuck and Outlast

They pull in.

A secret move here is a real wild tool, not a video-game combo.

Whose special move would change the meeting?

YOUR SCORECARD

Your scorecard

Tap who has each fact. Then tap who you think wins.

  • SIZE & WEIGHT

  • TOOLS

  • SPEED

  • HOME

  • FOOD

  • MOOD

  • BRAINS

  • SPECIAL

Your card: Hyena 0 · Tortoise 0 · still open 8

Who wins the meeting?

Keep going for the pretend meeting, then the science pick.

THWACK!

THEY MEET

Hyena runs first. Tortoise does not race. They wait in the island.

Pretend · fact-based · not a gore-fest

SLAM!

THE TOOLS SHOW UP

Tortoise is heavier. Hyena uses bone-blender jaws. Nobody is keeping a gore score.

Pretend · fact-based · not a gore-fest

POW!

SPECIAL MOVES

Hyena tries the Whoop-and-Swarm. Tortoise tries the Tuck and Outlast. Keep your card. The last page is next.

Pretend · fact-based · not a gore-fest

THE SCIENCE PICK

Tortoise!

A CLEAR PICK · UNDERDOG

You skipped a final pick. The facts still stamp a champ.

On the island, Tortoise wins. Tortoise likes the island more. Hyena would still win some meetings at home.

In the wild, most animals skip a fight. We still judge who the bodies and the place would favor.

Science card: Hyena 6 · Tortoise 2.

Your card: Hyena 0 · Tortoise 0.

The last page follows the whole animal — body plus home — not one bar chart.

Send this fight

A friend can read the same facts.

Victory lap · Tortoise

Armor, patience, and a very committed walk.

Wikimedia Commons · CC. Source

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