WHO WILL WIN?
Hyena
WHOOP-HAHA
Warthog
GRUNT-SQUEE
THE SETUP

Hyena vs Warthog

Hyena
Hyena
Warthog
Warthog

Pretend a hyena and a warthog meet in grassland. Look at the facts. Then you pick.

Would they meet?

Yes. They could meet in the real wild. This page is still a what-if.

This is pretend and based on facts. Real animals usually hide or leave.

Read the facts. Make your card. The page waits to pick.

Corner A

Hyena

Crocuta crocuta · The bone-crunching comedian of the savanna.

Hyena
Home
African savanna · Lives in Africa
Food
Meat
Group
Hunts with a pack
Size
Hyena is medium.

Clan chasers and bone-crushers.

Night hunters with a nose for leftovers and a bite that opens bones.

Bold in a clan.

  • Hyena is medium and fast.
  • They hunt more than they scavenge.
  • Open grassland where clans can hear each other across the night.

Family: Not dogs.

Corner B

Warthog

Phacochoerus africanus · A tusked sprinter who reverse-parks into burrows.

Warthog
Home
African savanna · Lives in Africa
Food
Plants and meat
Group
Lives with family
Size
Warthog is medium.

Rooter.

A snout for bulbs and danger.

Looks comic, fights like a small rhino with opinions.

  • Warthog is medium and fast.
  • Grass, roots, and leftovers.
  • Open woodland with aardvark burrows for rent.

Family: Pigs and wild boar.

TO SCALE!

SIZE & WEIGHT

Stand them next to a grown-up. Who is bigger and heavier?

1.70 m

Grown-up

0.85 m

Hyena to scale

Hyena

0.70 m

Warthog to scale

Warthog

Height to scale. A grown-up is 1.7 m.

Hyena70 kg

About as heavy as a big dog that skipped every 'drop it' lesson.

Warthog80 kg

About as heavy as a big dog, with a tail that flags like an antenna.

Hyena

0.85 m · 70 kg

Hyena is medium. 70 kg.

Warthog

0.70 m · 80 kg

Warthog is medium. 80 kg.

Kilograms are honest. A small animal can still have a strong tool.

Who would you pick for size?

TOOLKIT!

TOOLS

Teeth, claws, horns, venom, kick — what tools do they have?

  • Weapon: Bone-blender jaws
  • Armor: Scrappy stamina
  • Senses: Night hunters with a nose for leftovers and a bite that opens bones.

Hyena · labeled field diagram

  • Weapon: Curved tusks
  • Armor: Facial warts
  • Senses: A snout for bulbs and danger.

Warthog · labeled field diagram

Hyena1100 psi bite
Warthog300 psi bite

Hyena

Bone-blender jaws

Tool: bone-blender jaws. Bite: 1,100 psi.

Warthog

Curved tusks

Tool: curved tusks. Bite: 300 psi.

A bite number is only one tool. Coils and kicks count too.

Whose tools would you trust?

ZOOM!

SPEED

Who gets there first?

Hyena
60 km/h
Warthog
55 km/h
Hyena60 km/h
Warthog55 km/h

Hyena

60 km/h

Hyena can go 60 km/h. That is fast.

Warthog

55 km/h

Warthog can go 55 km/h. That is fast.

A fast animal can miss. A slow one only has to connect.

Who takes the speed card?

HOME MAP!

HOME

They meet in grassland. Who is built for this place?

N. AmericaS. AmericaEuropeAfricaAsiaAustraliaAntarctica
HyenaWarthogBoth

Meeting biome: grassland. Colored land is where each animal actually lives.

Hyena

This is home · Lives in Africa

Hyena lives in places like grassland.

Warthog

This is home · Lives in Africa

Warthog lives in places like grassland.

Yes. They could meet in the real wild. This page is still a what-if.

Who gets the home point?

MENU!

FOOD

How do they get lunch?

Hyena
Meat · Clan chasers and bone-crushers.
Warthog
Plants and meat · Rooter.

Hyena

Meat · Clan chasers and bone-crushers.

They hunt more than they scavenge.

Warthog

Plants and meat · Rooter.

Grass, roots, and leftovers.

A plant eater is not 'safe.' Hippos and elephants still end arguments.

Whose hunting or defending helps more?

MOOD!

MOOD

Alone vs team. This rumble is one vs one.

Hyena
Hunts with a pack
Warthog
Lives with family
Hyena9 grit /10
Warthog8 grit /10

Hyena

Hunts with a pack

Bold in a clan. Grit: 9/10.

Warthog

Lives with family

Looks comic, fights like a small rhino with opinions. Grit: 8/10.

Pack and pride animals lose their backup in a 1-v-1.

Who is better for a solo meeting?

PING!

BRAINS

Who notices first and thinks next?

Hyena
7/10
Warthog
5/10
Hyena7 brains /10
Warthog5 brains /10

Hyena

7/10

Night hunters with a nose for leftovers and a bite that opens bones.

Warthog

5/10

A snout for bulbs and danger.

In the wild, brains often mean leave before it starts.

Who would you score for noticing?

COUSINS!

FAMILY

Who are they related to?

Hyena
Crocuta crocuta
Warthog
Phacochoerus africanus

Hyena

Crocuta crocuta

Not dogs.

Warthog

Phacochoerus africanus

Pigs and wild boar.

Cousins are clues, not a score.

Not a fight point. Who has the wilder family story?

WILD CARD!

SPECIAL

What special move did they evolve?

Hyena
Whoop-and-Swarm
Warthog
Tail-Up Reverse Park

Hyena

Whoop-and-Swarm

The laugh is a call, not a joke.

Warthog

Tail-Up Reverse Park

They run into dens backward so tusks face the door.

A secret move here is a real wild tool, not a video-game combo.

Whose special move would change the meeting?

YOUR SCORECARD

Your scorecard

Tap who has each fact. Then tap who you think wins.

  • SIZE & WEIGHT

  • TOOLS

  • SPEED

  • HOME

  • FOOD

  • MOOD

  • BRAINS

  • SPECIAL

Your card: Hyena 0 · Warthog 0 · still open 8

Who wins the meeting?

Keep going for the pretend meeting, then the science pick.

WHAM!

THEY MEET

Hyena runs first. Warthog does not race. They wait in grassland.

Pretend · fact-based · not a gore-fest

WHOOSH!

THE TOOLS SHOW UP

Warthog is heavier. Hyena uses bone-blender jaws. Nobody is keeping a gore score.

Pretend · fact-based · not a gore-fest

ZING!

SPECIAL MOVES

Hyena tries the Whoop-and-Swarm. Warthog tries the Tail-Up Reverse Park. Keep your card. The last page is next.

Pretend · fact-based · not a gore-fest

THE SCIENCE PICK

Hyena!

A SQUEAKER

You skipped a final pick. The facts still stamp a champ.

On grassland, Hyena wins. Hyena's bone-blender jaws helps more. Warthog would still win some meetings at home.

In the wild, most animals skip a fight. We still judge who the bodies and the place would favor.

Science card: Hyena 5 · Warthog 0 · ties 3.

Your card: Hyena 0 · Warthog 0.

The last page follows the whole animal — body plus home — not one bar chart.

Send this fight

A friend can read the same facts.

Also starring · Warthog

Snack with tusks. The look is the point.

Wikimedia Commons · CC. Source

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