WHO WILL WIN?
Panda
HONK-BLEAT
Hippo
HAAAWMP
THE SETUP

Panda vs Hippo

Panda
Panda
Hippo
Hippo

Pretend a panda and a hippo meet in the mountains. Look at the facts. Then you pick.

Would they meet?

Almost never. Their homes sit next to each other.

This is pretend and based on facts. Real animals usually hide or leave.

Read the facts. Make your card. The page waits to pick.

Corner A

Panda

Ailuropoda melanoleuca · A bamboo tank in a costume.

Panda
Home
Chinese mountain forests · Lives in Asia
Food
Plants
Group
Lives alone
Size
Panda is medium.

Bamboo specialist.

Smell finds the right stalks.

Slow-looking, not helpless.

  • Panda is medium and not very fast.
  • Almost all bamboo, all day.
  • Cool, misty mountain forests where bamboo grows like a salad bar.

Family: Other bears.

Corner B

Hippo

Hippopotamus amphibius · A floating boulder with kitchen-knife tusks.

Hippo
Home
African rivers and lakes · Lives in Africa
Food
Plants
Group
Lives in a herd
Size
Hippo is huge.

Grazer by night.

Ears, eyes, and nostrils sit on top of the head like a submarine periscope.

Famous for a short fuse in the river.

  • Hippo is huge and not very fast.
  • Hippos graze grass at night.
  • They own the river.

Family: Whales and dolphins!

TO SCALE!

SIZE & WEIGHT

Stand them next to a grown-up. Who is bigger and heavier?

1.70 m

Grown-up

0.90 m

Panda to scale

Panda

1.50 m

Hippo to scale

Hippo

Height to scale. A grown-up is 1.7 m.

Panda120 kg

About as heavy as a big goat, shaped like a stuffed animal that lifts.

Hippo1,500 kg

About as heavy as a small car, with a much bigger attitude.

Panda

0.90 m · 120 kg

Panda is medium. 120 kg.

Hippo

1.50 m · 1,500 kg

Hippo is huge. 1,500 kg.

Kilograms are honest. A small animal can still have a strong tool.

Who would you pick for size?

TOOLKIT!

TOOLS

Teeth, claws, horns, venom, kick — what tools do they have?

  • Weapon: Bamboo-crusher jaws
  • Armor: Plush padding
  • Senses: Smell finds the right stalks.

Panda · labeled field diagram

  • Weapon: Tusk-lined cave mouth
  • Armor: Cannonball body
  • Senses: Ears, eyes, and nostrils sit on top of the head like a submarine periscope.

Hippo · labeled field diagram

Panda500 psi bite
Hippo1800 psi bite

Panda

Bamboo-crusher jaws

Tool: bamboo-crusher jaws. Bite: 500 psi.

Hippo

Tusk-lined cave mouth

Tool: tusk-lined cave mouth. Bite: 1,800 psi.

A bite number is only one tool. Coils and kicks count too.

Whose tools would you trust?

ZOOM!

SPEED

Who gets there first?

Panda
30 km/h
Hippo
30 km/h
Panda30 km/h
Hippo30 km/h

Panda

30 km/h

Panda can go 30 km/h. That is not very fast.

Hippo

30 km/h

Hippo can go 30 km/h. That is not very fast.

A fast animal can miss. A slow one only has to connect.

Who takes the speed card?

HOME MAP!

HOME

They meet in the mountains. Who is built for this place?

N. AmericaS. AmericaEuropeAfricaAsiaAustraliaAntarctica
PandaHippoBoth

Meeting biome: the mountains. Colored land is where each animal actually lives.

Panda

This is home · Lives in Asia

Panda lives in places like the mountains.

Hippo

Wrong place · Lives in Africa

Hippo's home is the african rivers and lakes, not the mountains.

Almost never. Their homes sit next to each other.

Who gets the home point?

MENU!

FOOD

How do they get lunch?

Panda
Plants · Bamboo specialist.
Hippo
Plants · Grazer by night.

Panda

Plants · Bamboo specialist.

Almost all bamboo, all day.

Hippo

Plants · Grazer by night.

Hippos graze grass at night.

A plant eater is not 'safe.' Hippos and elephants still end arguments.

Whose hunting or defending helps more?

MOOD!

MOOD

Alone vs team. This rumble is one vs one.

Panda
Lives alone
Hippo
Lives in a herd
Panda4 grit /10
Hippo10 grit /10

Panda

Lives alone

Slow-looking, not helpless. Grit: 4/10.

Hippo

Lives in a herd

Famous for a short fuse in the river. Grit: 10/10.

Pack and pride animals lose their backup in a 1-v-1.

Who is better for a solo meeting?

PING!

BRAINS

Who notices first and thinks next?

Panda
6/10
Hippo
5/10
Panda6 brains /10
Hippo5 brains /10

Panda

6/10

Smell finds the right stalks.

Hippo

5/10

Ears, eyes, and nostrils sit on top of the head like a submarine periscope.

In the wild, brains often mean leave before it starts.

Who would you score for noticing?

COUSINS!

FAMILY

Who are they related to?

Panda
Ailuropoda melanoleuca
Hippo
Hippopotamus amphibius

Panda

Ailuropoda melanoleuca

Other bears.

Hippo

Hippopotamus amphibius

Whales and dolphins!

Cousins are clues, not a score.

Not a fight point. Who has the wilder family story?

WILD CARD!

SPECIAL

What special move did they evolve?

Panda
Sit-and-Smoosh
Hippo
River Rage Charge

Panda

Sit-and-Smoosh

If a panda leans on a problem, the problem becomes a pancake.

Hippo

River Rage Charge

Hippos look chill in the water.

A secret move here is a real wild tool, not a video-game combo.

Whose special move would change the meeting?

YOUR SCORECARD

Your scorecard

Tap who has each fact. Then tap who you think wins.

  • SIZE & WEIGHT

  • TOOLS

  • SPEED

  • HOME

  • FOOD

  • MOOD

  • BRAINS

  • SPECIAL

Your card: Panda 0 · Hippo 0 · still open 8

Who wins the meeting?

Keep going for the pretend meeting, then the science pick.

THWACK!

THEY MEET

Panda runs first. Hippo does not race. They wait in the mountains.

Pretend · fact-based · not a gore-fest

SLAM!

THE TOOLS SHOW UP

Hippo is heavier. Panda uses bamboo-crusher jaws. Nobody is keeping a gore score.

Pretend · fact-based · not a gore-fest

POW!

SPECIAL MOVES

Panda tries the Sit-and-Smoosh. Hippo tries the River Rage Charge. Keep your card. The last page is next.

Pretend · fact-based · not a gore-fest

THE SCIENCE PICK

Hippo!

A STOMP

You skipped a final pick. The facts still stamp a champ.

On the mountains, Hippo wins. Hippo is a lot heavier. Panda would still win some meetings at home.

In the wild, most animals skip a fight. We still judge who the bodies and the place would favor.

Science card: Panda 2 · Hippo 5 · ties 1.

Your card: Panda 0 · Hippo 0.

The last page follows the whole animal — body plus home — not one bar chart.

Send this fight

A friend can read the same facts.

Victory lap · Hippo

Baby hippo. Rain. The rumble can wait.

Giles Laurent · Wikimedia Commons · CC BY-SA. Source

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