WHO WILL WIN?
Panda
HONK-BLEAT
Sea Lion
ARK-ARK-ARK
THE SETUP

Panda vs Sea Lion

Panda
Panda
Sea Lion
Sea Lion

Pretend a panda and a sea lion meet in forest. Look at the facts. Then you pick.

Would they meet?

No. Wild pandas and sea lions would not meet. We still look at the facts.

This is pretend and based on facts. Real animals usually hide or leave.

Read the facts. Make your card. The page waits to pick.

Corner A

Panda

Ailuropoda melanoleuca · A bamboo tank in a costume.

Panda
Home
Chinese mountain forests · Lives in Asia
Food
Plants
Group
Lives alone
Size
Panda is medium.

Bamboo specialist.

Smell finds the right stalks.

Slow-looking, not helpless.

  • Panda is medium and not very fast.
  • Almost all bamboo, all day.
  • Cool, misty mountain forests where bamboo grows like a salad bar.

Family: Other bears.

Corner B

Sea Lion

Zalophus californianus · A barking torpedo in a wet tuxedo.

Sea Lion
Home
Pacific coasts · Lives in North America
Food
Meat
Group
Lives in a big group
Size
Sea Lion is big.

Fish chaser in the surf.

Whiskers read fish in murk.

Playful and noisy.

  • Sea Lion is big and not very fast.
  • Fish, squid, and the occasional unfortunate leftover from the ocean buffet.
  • Rocky coasts and piers, where barking is a civic duty.

Family: Fur seals and walruses.

TO SCALE!

SIZE & WEIGHT

Stand them next to a grown-up. Who is bigger and heavier?

1.70 m

Grown-up

0.90 m

Panda to scale

Panda

1.20 m

Sea Lion to scale

Sea Lion

Height to scale. A grown-up is 1.7 m.

Panda120 kg

About as heavy as a big goat, shaped like a stuffed animal that lifts.

Sea Lion300 kg

As heavy as a couple of grown-ups, shaped like a barking sofa.

Panda

0.90 m · 120 kg

Panda is medium. 120 kg.

Sea Lion

1.20 m · 300 kg

Sea Lion is big. 300 kg.

Kilograms are honest. A small animal can still have a strong tool.

Who would you pick for size?

TOOLKIT!

TOOLS

Teeth, claws, horns, venom, kick — what tools do they have?

  • Weapon: Bamboo-crusher jaws
  • Armor: Plush padding
  • Senses: Smell finds the right stalks.

Panda · labeled field diagram

  • Weapon: Speed-bite plus flipper slap
  • Armor: Blubber wetsuit
  • Senses: Whiskers read fish in murk.

Sea Lion · labeled field diagram

Panda500 psi bite
Sea Lion400 psi bite

Panda

Bamboo-crusher jaws

Tool: bamboo-crusher jaws. Bite: 500 psi.

Sea Lion

Speed-bite plus flipper slap

Tool: speed-bite plus flipper slap. Bite: 400 psi.

A bite number is only one tool. Coils and kicks count too.

Whose tools would you trust?

ZOOM!

SPEED

Who gets there first?

Panda
30 km/h
Sea Lion
30 km/h
Panda30 km/h
Sea Lion30 km/h

Panda

30 km/h

Panda can go 30 km/h. That is not very fast.

Sea Lion

30 km/h

Sea Lion can go 30 km/h. That is not very fast.

A fast animal can miss. A slow one only has to connect.

Who takes the speed card?

HOME MAP!

HOME

They meet in forest. Who is built for this place?

N. AmericaS. AmericaEuropeAfricaAsiaAustraliaAntarctica
PandaSea LionBoth

Meeting biome: forest. Colored land is where each animal actually lives.

Panda

This is home · Lives in Asia

Panda lives in places like forest.

Sea Lion

Wrong place · Lives in North America

Sea Lion's home is the pacific coasts, not forest.

No. Wild pandas and sea lions would not meet. We still look at the facts.

Who gets the home point?

MENU!

FOOD

How do they get lunch?

Panda
Plants · Bamboo specialist.
Sea Lion
Meat · Fish chaser in the surf.

Panda

Plants · Bamboo specialist.

Almost all bamboo, all day.

Sea Lion

Meat · Fish chaser in the surf.

Fish, squid, and the occasional unfortunate leftover from the ocean buffet.

A plant eater is not 'safe.' Hippos and elephants still end arguments.

Whose hunting or defending helps more?

MOOD!

MOOD

Alone vs team. This rumble is one vs one.

Panda
Lives alone
Sea Lion
Lives in a big group
Panda4 grit /10
Sea Lion6 grit /10

Panda

Lives alone

Slow-looking, not helpless. Grit: 4/10.

Sea Lion

Lives in a big group

Playful and noisy. Grit: 6/10.

Pack and pride animals lose their backup in a 1-v-1.

Who is better for a solo meeting?

PING!

BRAINS

Who notices first and thinks next?

Panda
6/10
Sea Lion
6/10
Panda6 brains /10
Sea Lion6 brains /10

Panda

6/10

Smell finds the right stalks.

Sea Lion

6/10

Whiskers read fish in murk.

In the wild, brains often mean leave before it starts.

Who would you score for noticing?

COUSINS!

FAMILY

Who are they related to?

Panda
Ailuropoda melanoleuca
Sea Lion
Zalophus californianus

Panda

Ailuropoda melanoleuca

Other bears.

Sea Lion

Zalophus californianus

Fur seals and walruses.

Cousins are clues, not a score.

Not a fight point. Who has the wilder family story?

WILD CARD!

SPECIAL

What special move did they evolve?

Panda
Sit-and-Smoosh
Sea Lion
Porpoise Missile

Panda

Sit-and-Smoosh

If a panda leans on a problem, the problem becomes a pancake.

Sea Lion

Porpoise Missile

They leap, twist, and snatch fish mid-zoom.

A secret move here is a real wild tool, not a video-game combo.

Whose special move would change the meeting?

YOUR SCORECARD

Your scorecard

Tap who has each fact. Then tap who you think wins.

  • SIZE & WEIGHT

  • TOOLS

  • SPEED

  • HOME

  • FOOD

  • MOOD

  • BRAINS

  • SPECIAL

Your card: Panda 0 · Sea Lion 0 · still open 8

Who wins the meeting?

Keep going for the pretend meeting, then the science pick.

SKREEE!

THEY MEET

Panda runs first. Sea Lion does not race. They wait in forest.

Pretend · fact-based · not a gore-fest

CHOMP!

THE TOOLS SHOW UP

Sea Lion is heavier. Panda uses bamboo-crusher jaws. Nobody is keeping a gore score.

Pretend · fact-based · not a gore-fest

SNAP!

SPECIAL MOVES

Panda tries the Sit-and-Smoosh. Sea Lion tries the Porpoise Missile. Keep your card. The last page is next.

Pretend · fact-based · not a gore-fest

THE SCIENCE PICK

Sea Lion!

A CLEAR PICK

You skipped a final pick. The facts still stamp a champ.

On forest, Sea Lion wins. Sea Lion is a lot heavier. Panda would still win some meetings at home.

In the wild, most animals skip a fight. We still judge who the bodies and the place would favor.

Science card: Panda 1 · Sea Lion 5 · ties 2.

Your card: Panda 0 · Sea Lion 0.

The last page follows the whole animal — body plus home — not one bar chart.

Send this fight

A friend can read the same facts.

Victory lap · Sea Lion

Harbor barking. The champ has notes.

Sarah Stierch · Wikimedia Commons · CC BY. Source

1/17 · scroll