WHO WILL WIN?
Sea Lion
ARK-ARK-ARK
Hippo
HAAAWMP
THE SETUP

Sea Lion vs Hippo

Sea Lion
Sea Lion
Hippo
Hippo

Pretend a sea lion and a hippo meet in river country. Look at the facts. Then you pick.

Would they meet?

Almost never. Their homes sit next to each other.

This is pretend and based on facts. Real animals usually hide or leave.

Read the facts. Make your card. The page waits to pick.

Corner A

Sea Lion

Zalophus californianus · A barking torpedo in a wet tuxedo.

Sea Lion
Home
Pacific coasts · Lives in North America
Food
Meat
Group
Lives in a big group
Size
Sea Lion is big.

Fish chaser in the surf.

Whiskers read fish in murk.

Playful and noisy.

  • Sea Lion is big and not very fast.
  • Fish, squid, and the occasional unfortunate leftover from the ocean buffet.
  • Rocky coasts and piers, where barking is a civic duty.

Family: Fur seals and walruses.

Corner B

Hippo

Hippopotamus amphibius · A floating boulder with kitchen-knife tusks.

Hippo
Home
African rivers and lakes · Lives in Africa
Food
Plants
Group
Lives in a herd
Size
Hippo is huge.

Grazer by night.

Ears, eyes, and nostrils sit on top of the head like a submarine periscope.

Famous for a short fuse in the river.

  • Hippo is huge and not very fast.
  • Hippos graze grass at night.
  • They own the river.

Family: Whales and dolphins!

TO SCALE!

SIZE & WEIGHT

Stand them next to a grown-up. Who is bigger and heavier?

1.70 m

Grown-up

1.20 m

Sea Lion to scale

Sea Lion

1.50 m

Hippo to scale

Hippo

Height to scale. A grown-up is 1.7 m.

Sea Lion300 kg

As heavy as a couple of grown-ups, shaped like a barking sofa.

Hippo1,500 kg

About as heavy as a small car, with a much bigger attitude.

Sea Lion

1.20 m · 300 kg

Sea Lion is big. 300 kg.

Hippo

1.50 m · 1,500 kg

Hippo is huge. 1,500 kg.

Kilograms are honest. A small animal can still have a strong tool.

Who would you pick for size?

TOOLKIT!

TOOLS

Teeth, claws, horns, venom, kick — what tools do they have?

  • Weapon: Speed-bite plus flipper slap
  • Armor: Blubber wetsuit
  • Senses: Whiskers read fish in murk.

Sea Lion · labeled field diagram

  • Weapon: Tusk-lined cave mouth
  • Armor: Cannonball body
  • Senses: Ears, eyes, and nostrils sit on top of the head like a submarine periscope.

Hippo · labeled field diagram

Sea Lion400 psi bite
Hippo1800 psi bite

Sea Lion

Speed-bite plus flipper slap

Tool: speed-bite plus flipper slap. Bite: 400 psi.

Hippo

Tusk-lined cave mouth

Tool: tusk-lined cave mouth. Bite: 1,800 psi.

A bite number is only one tool. Coils and kicks count too.

Whose tools would you trust?

ZOOM!

SPEED

Who gets there first?

Sea Lion
30 km/h
Hippo
30 km/h
Sea Lion30 km/h
Hippo30 km/h

Sea Lion

30 km/h

Sea Lion can go 30 km/h. That is not very fast.

Hippo

30 km/h

Hippo can go 30 km/h. That is not very fast.

A fast animal can miss. A slow one only has to connect.

Who takes the speed card?

HOME MAP!

HOME

They meet in river country. Who is built for this place?

N. AmericaS. AmericaEuropeAfricaAsiaAustraliaAntarctica
Sea LionHippoBoth

Meeting biome: river country. Colored land is where each animal actually lives.

Sea Lion

Can handle it · Lives in North America

Sea Lion's home is the pacific coasts, not river country.

Hippo

This is home · Lives in Africa

Hippo lives in places like river country.

Almost never. Their homes sit next to each other.

Who gets the home point?

MENU!

FOOD

How do they get lunch?

Sea Lion
Meat · Fish chaser in the surf.
Hippo
Plants · Grazer by night.

Sea Lion

Meat · Fish chaser in the surf.

Fish, squid, and the occasional unfortunate leftover from the ocean buffet.

Hippo

Plants · Grazer by night.

Hippos graze grass at night.

A plant eater is not 'safe.' Hippos and elephants still end arguments.

Whose hunting or defending helps more?

MOOD!

MOOD

Alone vs team. This rumble is one vs one.

Sea Lion
Lives in a big group
Hippo
Lives in a herd
Sea Lion6 grit /10
Hippo10 grit /10

Sea Lion

Lives in a big group

Playful and noisy. Grit: 6/10.

Hippo

Lives in a herd

Famous for a short fuse in the river. Grit: 10/10.

Pack and pride animals lose their backup in a 1-v-1.

Who is better for a solo meeting?

PING!

BRAINS

Who notices first and thinks next?

Sea Lion
6/10
Hippo
5/10
Sea Lion6 brains /10
Hippo5 brains /10

Sea Lion

6/10

Whiskers read fish in murk.

Hippo

5/10

Ears, eyes, and nostrils sit on top of the head like a submarine periscope.

In the wild, brains often mean leave before it starts.

Who would you score for noticing?

COUSINS!

FAMILY

Who are they related to?

Sea Lion
Zalophus californianus
Hippo
Hippopotamus amphibius

Sea Lion

Zalophus californianus

Fur seals and walruses.

Hippo

Hippopotamus amphibius

Whales and dolphins!

Cousins are clues, not a score.

Not a fight point. Who has the wilder family story?

WILD CARD!

SPECIAL

What special move did they evolve?

Sea Lion
Porpoise Missile
Hippo
River Rage Charge

Sea Lion

Porpoise Missile

They leap, twist, and snatch fish mid-zoom.

Hippo

River Rage Charge

Hippos look chill in the water.

A secret move here is a real wild tool, not a video-game combo.

Whose special move would change the meeting?

YOUR SCORECARD

Your scorecard

Tap who has each fact. Then tap who you think wins.

  • SIZE & WEIGHT

  • TOOLS

  • SPEED

  • HOME

  • FOOD

  • MOOD

  • BRAINS

  • SPECIAL

Your card: Sea Lion 0 · Hippo 0 · still open 8

Who wins the meeting?

Keep going for the pretend meeting, then the science pick.

SKREEE!

THEY MEET

Sea Lion runs first. Hippo does not race. They wait in river country.

Pretend · fact-based · not a gore-fest

CHOMP!

THE TOOLS SHOW UP

Hippo is heavier. Sea Lion uses speed-bite plus flipper slap. Nobody is keeping a gore score.

Pretend · fact-based · not a gore-fest

SNAP!

SPECIAL MOVES

Sea Lion tries the Porpoise Missile. Hippo tries the River Rage Charge. Keep your card. The last page is next.

Pretend · fact-based · not a gore-fest

THE SCIENCE PICK

Hippo!

A STOMP

You skipped a final pick. The facts still stamp a champ.

On river country, Hippo wins. Hippo likes river country more. Sea Lion would still win some meetings at home.

In the wild, most animals skip a fight. We still judge who the bodies and the place would favor.

Science card: Sea Lion 1 · Hippo 6 · ties 1.

Your card: Sea Lion 0 · Hippo 0.

The last page follows the whole animal — body plus home — not one bar chart.

Send this fight

A friend can read the same facts.

Victory lap · Hippo

Baby hippo. Rain. The rumble can wait.

Giles Laurent · Wikimedia Commons · CC BY-SA. Source

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