WHO WILL WIN?
Sea Lion
ARK-ARK-ARK
Sloth
MEEP-SIGH
THE SETUP

Sea Lion vs Sloth

Sea Lion
Sea Lion
Sloth
Sloth

Pretend a sea lion and a sloth meet in forest. Look at the facts. Then you pick.

Would they meet?

No. Wild sea lions and sloths would not meet. We still look at the facts.

This is pretend and based on facts. Real animals usually hide or leave.

Read the facts. Make your card. The page waits to pick.

Corner A

Sea Lion

Zalophus californianus · A barking torpedo in a wet tuxedo.

Sea Lion
Home
Pacific coasts · Lives in North America
Food
Meat
Group
Lives in a big group
Size
Sea Lion is big.

Fish chaser in the surf.

Whiskers read fish in murk.

Playful and noisy.

  • Sea Lion is big and not very fast.
  • Fish, squid, and the occasional unfortunate leftover from the ocean buffet.
  • Rocky coasts and piers, where barking is a civic duty.

Family: Fur seals and walruses.

Corner B

Sloth

Bradypus variegatus · The slowest fighter with the strongest grip.

Sloth
Home
Central and South American rainforest · Lives in South America
Food
Plants
Group
Lives alone
Size
Sloth is small.

Leaf eater in slow motion.

Not a hunter's kit.

Peaceful to a fault.

  • Sloth is small and slow.
  • Leaves.
  • The high canopy, where going nowhere slowly is a valid plan.

Family: Anteaters and armadillos — the xenarthran club of unhurried specialists.

TO SCALE!

SIZE & WEIGHT

Stand them next to a grown-up. Who is bigger and heavier?

1.70 m

Grown-up

1.20 m

Sea Lion to scale

Sea Lion

0.60 m

Sloth to scale

Sloth

Height to scale. A grown-up is 1.7 m.

Sea Lion300 kg

As heavy as a couple of grown-ups, shaped like a barking sofa.

Sloth6 kg

About as heavy as a small melon that refuses to rush.

Sea Lion

1.20 m · 300 kg

Sea Lion is big. 300 kg.

Sloth

0.60 m · 6 kg

Sloth is small. 6 kg.

Kilograms are honest. A small animal can still have a strong tool.

Who would you pick for size?

TOOLKIT!

TOOLS

Teeth, claws, horns, venom, kick — what tools do they have?

  • Weapon: Speed-bite plus flipper slap
  • Armor: Blubber wetsuit
  • Senses: Whiskers read fish in murk.

Sea Lion · labeled field diagram

  • Weapon: Three-toed hooks
  • Armor: Algae cloak
  • Senses: Not a hunter's kit.

Sloth · labeled field diagram

Sea Lion400 psi bite
Sloth50 psi bite

Sea Lion

Speed-bite plus flipper slap

Tool: speed-bite plus flipper slap. Bite: 400 psi.

Sloth

Three-toed hooks

Tool: three-toed hooks. Bite: 50 psi.

A bite number is only one tool. Coils and kicks count too.

Whose tools would you trust?

ZOOM!

SPEED

Who gets there first?

Sea Lion
30 km/h
Sloth
2 km/h
Sea Lion30 km/h
Sloth2 km/h

Sea Lion

30 km/h

Sea Lion can go 30 km/h. That is not very fast.

Sloth

2 km/h

Sloth can go 2 km/h. That is slow.

A fast animal can miss. A slow one only has to connect.

Who takes the speed card?

HOME MAP!

HOME

They meet in forest. Who is built for this place?

N. AmericaS. AmericaEuropeAfricaAsiaAustraliaAntarctica
Sea LionSlothBoth

Meeting biome: forest. Colored land is where each animal actually lives.

Sea Lion

Wrong place · Lives in North America

Sea Lion's home is the pacific coasts, not forest.

Sloth

This is home · Lives in South America

Sloth lives in places like forest.

No. Wild sea lions and sloths would not meet. We still look at the facts.

Who gets the home point?

MENU!

FOOD

How do they get lunch?

Sea Lion
Meat · Fish chaser in the surf.
Sloth
Plants · Leaf eater in slow motion.

Sea Lion

Meat · Fish chaser in the surf.

Fish, squid, and the occasional unfortunate leftover from the ocean buffet.

Sloth

Plants · Leaf eater in slow motion.

Leaves.

A plant eater is not 'safe.' Hippos and elephants still end arguments.

Whose hunting or defending helps more?

MOOD!

MOOD

Alone vs team. This rumble is one vs one.

Sea Lion
Lives in a big group
Sloth
Lives alone
Sea Lion6 grit /10
Sloth5 grit /10

Sea Lion

Lives in a big group

Playful and noisy. Grit: 6/10.

Sloth

Lives alone

Peaceful to a fault. Grit: 5/10.

Pack and pride animals lose their backup in a 1-v-1.

Who is better for a solo meeting?

PING!

BRAINS

Who notices first and thinks next?

Sea Lion
6/10
Sloth
3/10
Sea Lion6 brains /10
Sloth3 brains /10

Sea Lion

6/10

Whiskers read fish in murk.

Sloth

3/10

Not a hunter's kit.

In the wild, brains often mean leave before it starts.

Who would you score for noticing?

COUSINS!

FAMILY

Who are they related to?

Sea Lion
Zalophus californianus
Sloth
Bradypus variegatus

Sea Lion

Zalophus californianus

Fur seals and walruses.

Sloth

Bradypus variegatus

Anteaters and armadillos — the xenarthran club of unhurried specialists.

Cousins are clues, not a score.

Not a fight point. Who has the wilder family story?

WILD CARD!

SPECIAL

What special move did they evolve?

Sea Lion
Porpoise Missile
Sloth
Hang In There

Sea Lion

Porpoise Missile

They leap, twist, and snatch fish mid-zoom.

Sloth

Hang In There

Predators often cannot peel a sloth off a branch.

A secret move here is a real wild tool, not a video-game combo.

Whose special move would change the meeting?

YOUR SCORECARD

Your scorecard

Tap who has each fact. Then tap who you think wins.

  • SIZE & WEIGHT

  • TOOLS

  • SPEED

  • HOME

  • FOOD

  • MOOD

  • BRAINS

  • SPECIAL

Your card: Sea Lion 0 · Sloth 0 · still open 8

Who wins the meeting?

Keep going for the pretend meeting, then the science pick.

SKREEE!

THEY MEET

Sea Lion runs first. Sloth does not race. They wait in forest.

Pretend · fact-based · not a gore-fest

CHOMP!

THE TOOLS SHOW UP

Sea Lion is heavier. Sloth uses three-toed hooks. Nobody is keeping a gore score.

Pretend · fact-based · not a gore-fest

SNAP!

SPECIAL MOVES

Sea Lion tries the Porpoise Missile. Sloth tries the Hang In There. Keep your card. The last page is next.

Pretend · fact-based · not a gore-fest

THE SCIENCE PICK

Sea Lion!

A STOMP

You skipped a final pick. The facts still stamp a champ.

On forest, Sea Lion wins. Sea Lion is a lot heavier. Sloth would still win some meetings at home.

In the wild, most animals skip a fight. We still judge who the bodies and the place would favor.

Science card: Sea Lion 7 · Sloth 1.

Your card: Sea Lion 0 · Sloth 0.

The last page follows the whole animal — body plus home — not one bar chart.

Send this fight

A friend can read the same facts.

Victory lap · Sea Lion

Harbor barking. The champ has notes.

Sarah Stierch · Wikimedia Commons · CC BY. Source

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