WHO WILL WIN?
Sloth
MEEP-SIGH
Gorilla
HOOT-HOOT-BAM
THE SETUP

Sloth vs Gorilla

Sloth
Sloth
Gorilla
Gorilla

Pretend a sloth and a gorilla meet in forest. Look at the facts. Then you pick.

Would they meet?

Yes. They could meet in the real wild. This page is still a what-if.

This is pretend and based on facts. Real animals usually hide or leave.

Read the facts. Make your card. The page waits to pick.

Corner A

Sloth

Bradypus variegatus · The slowest fighter with the strongest grip.

Sloth
Home
Central and South American rainforest · Lives in South America
Food
Plants
Group
Lives alone
Size
Sloth is small.

Leaf eater in slow motion.

Not a hunter's kit.

Peaceful to a fault.

  • Sloth is small and slow.
  • Leaves.
  • The high canopy, where going nowhere slowly is a valid plan.

Family: Anteaters and armadillos — the xenarthran club of unhurried specialists.

Corner B

Gorilla

Gorilla gorilla · A quiet giant until the chest-thump starts.

Gorilla
Home
African rainforest · Lives in Africa
Food
Plants
Group
Lives with family
Size
Gorilla is medium.

Forager.

Sharp eyes in the green.

Gentle until a family is threatened.

  • Gorilla is medium and fast.
  • Mostly leaves, stems, and fruit.
  • Dense forest is home.

Family: Chimpanzees, orangutans, and humans.

TO SCALE!

SIZE & WEIGHT

Stand them next to a grown-up. Who is bigger and heavier?

1.70 m

Grown-up

0.60 m

Sloth to scale

Sloth

1.70 m

Gorilla to scale

Gorilla

Height to scale. A grown-up is 1.7 m.

Sloth6 kg

About as heavy as a small melon that refuses to rush.

Gorilla160 kg

As heavy as two kids in a backpack... if the backpack could bench-press a motorcycle.

Sloth

0.60 m · 6 kg

Sloth is small. 6 kg.

Gorilla

1.70 m · 160 kg

Gorilla is medium. 160 kg.

Kilograms are honest. A small animal can still have a strong tool.

Who would you pick for size?

TOOLKIT!

TOOLS

Teeth, claws, horns, venom, kick — what tools do they have?

  • Weapon: Three-toed hooks
  • Armor: Algae cloak
  • Senses: Not a hunter's kit.

Sloth · labeled field diagram

  • Weapon: Anvil fists + ape bite
  • Armor: Barrel chest
  • Senses: Sharp eyes in the green.

Gorilla · labeled field diagram

Sloth50 psi bite
Gorilla1300 psi bite

Sloth

Three-toed hooks

Tool: three-toed hooks. Bite: 50 psi.

Gorilla

Anvil fists + ape bite

Tool: anvil fists + ape bite. Bite: 1,300 psi.

A bite number is only one tool. Coils and kicks count too.

Whose tools would you trust?

ZOOM!

SPEED

Who gets there first?

Sloth
2 km/h
Gorilla
40 km/h
Sloth2 km/h
Gorilla40 km/h

Sloth

2 km/h

Sloth can go 2 km/h. That is slow.

Gorilla

40 km/h

Gorilla can go 40 km/h. That is fast.

A fast animal can miss. A slow one only has to connect.

Who takes the speed card?

HOME MAP!

HOME

They meet in forest. Who is built for this place?

N. AmericaS. AmericaEuropeAfricaAsiaAustraliaAntarctica
SlothGorillaBoth

Meeting biome: forest. Colored land is where each animal actually lives.

Sloth

This is home · Lives in South America

Sloth lives in places like forest.

Gorilla

This is home · Lives in Africa

Gorilla lives in places like forest.

Yes. They could meet in the real wild. This page is still a what-if.

Who gets the home point?

MENU!

FOOD

How do they get lunch?

Sloth
Plants · Leaf eater in slow motion.
Gorilla
Plants · Forager.

Sloth

Plants · Leaf eater in slow motion.

Leaves.

Gorilla

Plants · Forager.

Mostly leaves, stems, and fruit.

A plant eater is not 'safe.' Hippos and elephants still end arguments.

Whose hunting or defending helps more?

MOOD!

MOOD

Alone vs team. This rumble is one vs one.

Sloth
Lives alone
Gorilla
Lives with family
Sloth5 grit /10
Gorilla8 grit /10

Sloth

Lives alone

Peaceful to a fault. Grit: 5/10.

Gorilla

Lives with family

Gentle until a family is threatened. Grit: 8/10.

Pack and pride animals lose their backup in a 1-v-1.

Who is better for a solo meeting?

PING!

BRAINS

Who notices first and thinks next?

Sloth
3/10
Gorilla
9/10
Sloth3 brains /10
Gorilla9 brains /10

Sloth

3/10

Not a hunter's kit.

Gorilla

9/10

Sharp eyes in the green.

In the wild, brains often mean leave before it starts.

Who would you score for noticing?

COUSINS!

FAMILY

Who are they related to?

Sloth
Bradypus variegatus
Gorilla
Gorilla gorilla

Sloth

Bradypus variegatus

Anteaters and armadillos — the xenarthran club of unhurried specialists.

Gorilla

Gorilla gorilla

Chimpanzees, orangutans, and humans.

Cousins are clues, not a score.

Not a fight point. Who has the wilder family story?

WILD CARD!

SPECIAL

What special move did they evolve?

Sloth
Hang In There
Gorilla
Chest-Drum Charge

Sloth

Hang In There

Predators often cannot peel a sloth off a branch.

Gorilla

Chest-Drum Charge

The chest beat is a warning.

A secret move here is a real wild tool, not a video-game combo.

Whose special move would change the meeting?

YOUR SCORECARD

Your scorecard

Tap who has each fact. Then tap who you think wins.

  • SIZE & WEIGHT

  • TOOLS

  • SPEED

  • HOME

  • FOOD

  • MOOD

  • BRAINS

  • SPECIAL

Your card: Sloth 0 · Gorilla 0 · still open 8

Who wins the meeting?

Keep going for the pretend meeting, then the science pick.

SKREEE!

THEY MEET

Gorilla runs first. Sloth does not race. They wait in forest.

Pretend · fact-based · not a gore-fest

CHOMP!

THE TOOLS SHOW UP

Gorilla is heavier. Sloth uses three-toed hooks. Nobody is keeping a gore score.

Pretend · fact-based · not a gore-fest

SNAP!

SPECIAL MOVES

Sloth tries the Hang In There. Gorilla tries the Chest-Drum Charge. Keep your card. The last page is next.

Pretend · fact-based · not a gore-fest

THE SCIENCE PICK

Gorilla!

A STOMP

You skipped a final pick. The facts still stamp a champ.

On forest, Gorilla wins. Gorilla is a lot heavier. Sloth would still win some meetings at home.

In the wild, most animals skip a fight. We still judge who the bodies and the place would favor.

Science card: Sloth 0 · Gorilla 7 · ties 1.

Your card: Sloth 0 · Gorilla 0.

The last page follows the whole animal — body plus home — not one bar chart.

Send this fight

A friend can read the same facts.

Victory lap · Gorilla

Five seconds of gorilla. Blink and you miss the champ.

Raul654 · Wikimedia Commons · GFDL. Source

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