WHO WILL WIN?
Tapir
WHEE-SQUEAK
Warthog
GRUNT-SQUEE
THE SETUP

Tapir vs Warthog

Tapir
Tapir
Warthog
Warthog

Pretend a tapir and a warthog meet in forest. Look at the facts. Then you pick.

Would they meet?

Almost never. Their homes sit next to each other.

This is pretend and based on facts. Real animals usually hide or leave.

Read the facts. Make your card. The page waits to pick.

Corner A

Tapir

Tapirus terrestris · A forest tank with a mini trunk.

Tapir
Home
South American rainforest · Lives in South America
Food
Plants
Group
Lives alone
Size
Tapir is big.

Browser with a mini-trunk.

Nose and hearing in thick green.

Shy tanklet.

  • Tapir is big and fast.
  • Leaves, fruit, and shoots.
  • Jungle near water.

Family: Horses and rhinos.

Corner B

Warthog

Phacochoerus africanus · A tusked sprinter who reverse-parks into burrows.

Warthog
Home
African savanna · Lives in Africa
Food
Plants and meat
Group
Lives with family
Size
Warthog is medium.

Rooter.

A snout for bulbs and danger.

Looks comic, fights like a small rhino with opinions.

  • Warthog is medium and fast.
  • Grass, roots, and leftovers.
  • Open woodland with aardvark burrows for rent.

Family: Pigs and wild boar.

TO SCALE!

SIZE & WEIGHT

Stand them next to a grown-up. Who is bigger and heavier?

1.70 m

Grown-up

1 m

Tapir to scale

Tapir

0.70 m

Warthog to scale

Warthog

Height to scale. A grown-up is 1.7 m.

Tapir250 kg

About as heavy as a pony, with a nose that does extra homework.

Warthog80 kg

About as heavy as a big dog, with a tail that flags like an antenna.

Tapir

1 m · 250 kg

Tapir is big. 250 kg.

Warthog

0.70 m · 80 kg

Warthog is medium. 80 kg.

Kilograms are honest. A small animal can still have a strong tool.

Who would you pick for size?

TOOLKIT!

TOOLS

Teeth, claws, horns, venom, kick — what tools do they have?

  • Weapon: Charge plus chomp
  • Armor: Thick hide
  • Senses: Nose and hearing in thick green.

Tapir · labeled field diagram

  • Weapon: Curved tusks
  • Armor: Facial warts
  • Senses: A snout for bulbs and danger.

Warthog · labeled field diagram

Tapir250 psi bite
Warthog300 psi bite

Tapir

Charge plus chomp

Tool: charge plus chomp. Bite: 250 psi.

Warthog

Curved tusks

Tool: curved tusks. Bite: 300 psi.

A bite number is only one tool. Coils and kicks count too.

Whose tools would you trust?

ZOOM!

SPEED

Who gets there first?

Tapir
48 km/h
Warthog
55 km/h
Tapir48 km/h
Warthog55 km/h

Tapir

48 km/h

Tapir can go 48 km/h. That is fast.

Warthog

55 km/h

Warthog can go 55 km/h. That is fast.

A fast animal can miss. A slow one only has to connect.

Who takes the speed card?

HOME MAP!

HOME

They meet in forest. Who is built for this place?

N. AmericaS. AmericaEuropeAfricaAsiaAustraliaAntarctica
TapirWarthogBoth

Meeting biome: forest. Colored land is where each animal actually lives.

Tapir

This is home · Lives in South America

Tapir lives in places like forest.

Warthog

Can handle it · Lives in Africa

Warthog's home is the african savanna, not forest.

Almost never. Their homes sit next to each other.

Who gets the home point?

MENU!

FOOD

How do they get lunch?

Tapir
Plants · Browser with a mini-trunk.
Warthog
Plants and meat · Rooter.

Tapir

Plants · Browser with a mini-trunk.

Leaves, fruit, and shoots.

Warthog

Plants and meat · Rooter.

Grass, roots, and leftovers.

A plant eater is not 'safe.' Hippos and elephants still end arguments.

Whose hunting or defending helps more?

MOOD!

MOOD

Alone vs team. This rumble is one vs one.

Tapir
Lives alone
Warthog
Lives with family
Tapir5 grit /10
Warthog8 grit /10

Tapir

Lives alone

Shy tanklet. Grit: 5/10.

Warthog

Lives with family

Looks comic, fights like a small rhino with opinions. Grit: 8/10.

Pack and pride animals lose their backup in a 1-v-1.

Who is better for a solo meeting?

PING!

BRAINS

Who notices first and thinks next?

Tapir
5/10
Warthog
5/10
Tapir5 brains /10
Warthog5 brains /10

Tapir

5/10

Nose and hearing in thick green.

Warthog

5/10

A snout for bulbs and danger.

In the wild, brains often mean leave before it starts.

Who would you score for noticing?

COUSINS!

FAMILY

Who are they related to?

Tapir
Tapirus terrestris
Warthog
Phacochoerus africanus

Tapir

Tapirus terrestris

Horses and rhinos.

Warthog

Phacochoerus africanus

Pigs and wild boar.

Cousins are clues, not a score.

Not a fight point. Who has the wilder family story?

WILD CARD!

SPECIAL

What special move did they evolve?

Tapir
Snorkel Splash-Off
Warthog
Tail-Up Reverse Park

Tapir

Snorkel Splash-Off

The snout is a mini trunk.

Warthog

Tail-Up Reverse Park

They run into dens backward so tusks face the door.

A secret move here is a real wild tool, not a video-game combo.

Whose special move would change the meeting?

YOUR SCORECARD

Your scorecard

Tap who has each fact. Then tap who you think wins.

  • SIZE & WEIGHT

  • TOOLS

  • SPEED

  • HOME

  • FOOD

  • MOOD

  • BRAINS

  • SPECIAL

Your card: Tapir 0 · Warthog 0 · still open 8

Who wins the meeting?

Keep going for the pretend meeting, then the science pick.

SKREEE!

THEY MEET

Warthog runs first. Tapir does not race. They wait in forest.

Pretend · fact-based · not a gore-fest

CHOMP!

THE TOOLS SHOW UP

Tapir is heavier. Warthog uses curved tusks. Nobody is keeping a gore score.

Pretend · fact-based · not a gore-fest

SNAP!

SPECIAL MOVES

Tapir tries the Snorkel Splash-Off. Warthog tries the Tail-Up Reverse Park. Keep your card. The last page is next.

Pretend · fact-based · not a gore-fest

THE SCIENCE PICK

Tapir!

A CLEAR PICK · UNDERDOG

You skipped a final pick. The facts still stamp a champ.

On forest, Tapir wins. Tapir likes forest more. Warthog would still win some meetings at home.

In the wild, most animals skip a fight. We still judge who the bodies and the place would favor.

Science card: Tapir 2 · Warthog 5 · ties 1.

Your card: Tapir 0 · Warthog 0.

The last page follows the whole animal — body plus home — not one bar chart.

Send this fight

A friend can read the same facts.

Also starring · Warthog

Snack with tusks. The look is the point.

Wikimedia Commons · CC. Source

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