HISS-HMPH
Tortoise
A walking bunker that outlives arguments.
MEET THE FIGHTERS
Tortoise vs Red Panda
Tonight's science rumble is set in a giant zoo clearing at high noon. No snacks were harmed.
Tortoise
Chelonoidis niger
Giant tortoises can live more than 100 years.
Cactus, grass, and island plants. They are living lawn mowers with a 100-year warranty.
Red Panda
Ailurus fulgens
Red pandas are mostly crepuscular — dawn and dusk are their prime time.
Mostly bamboo, plus fruit, eggs, and insects when the salad bar is closed.
Who do YOU think wins?
SQUEAK-TWITTER
Red Panda
A rusty acrobat who would rather nap than rumble.
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