WHO WILL WIN?
Warthog
GRUNT-SQUEE
Panda
HONK-BLEAT
THE SETUP

Warthog vs Panda

Warthog
Warthog
Panda
Panda

Pretend a warthog and a panda meet in the mountains. Look at the facts. Then you pick.

Would they meet?

Almost never. Their homes sit next to each other.

This is pretend and based on facts. Real animals usually hide or leave.

Read the facts. Make your card. The page waits to pick.

Corner A

Warthog

Phacochoerus africanus · A tusked sprinter who reverse-parks into burrows.

Warthog
Home
African savanna · Lives in Africa
Food
Plants and meat
Group
Lives with family
Size
Warthog is medium.

Rooter.

A snout for bulbs and danger.

Looks comic, fights like a small rhino with opinions.

  • Warthog is medium and fast.
  • Grass, roots, and leftovers.
  • Open woodland with aardvark burrows for rent.

Family: Pigs and wild boar.

Corner B

Panda

Ailuropoda melanoleuca · A bamboo tank in a costume.

Panda
Home
Chinese mountain forests · Lives in Asia
Food
Plants
Group
Lives alone
Size
Panda is medium.

Bamboo specialist.

Smell finds the right stalks.

Slow-looking, not helpless.

  • Panda is medium and not very fast.
  • Almost all bamboo, all day.
  • Cool, misty mountain forests where bamboo grows like a salad bar.

Family: Other bears.

TO SCALE!

SIZE & WEIGHT

Stand them next to a grown-up. Who is bigger and heavier?

1.70 m

Grown-up

0.70 m

Warthog to scale

Warthog

0.90 m

Panda to scale

Panda

Height to scale. A grown-up is 1.7 m.

Warthog80 kg

About as heavy as a big dog, with a tail that flags like an antenna.

Panda120 kg

About as heavy as a big goat, shaped like a stuffed animal that lifts.

Warthog

0.70 m · 80 kg

Warthog is medium. 80 kg.

Panda

0.90 m · 120 kg

Panda is medium. 120 kg.

Kilograms are honest. A small animal can still have a strong tool.

Who would you pick for size?

TOOLKIT!

TOOLS

Teeth, claws, horns, venom, kick — what tools do they have?

  • Weapon: Curved tusks
  • Armor: Facial warts
  • Senses: A snout for bulbs and danger.

Warthog · labeled field diagram

  • Weapon: Bamboo-crusher jaws
  • Armor: Plush padding
  • Senses: Smell finds the right stalks.

Panda · labeled field diagram

Warthog300 psi bite
Panda500 psi bite

Warthog

Curved tusks

Tool: curved tusks. Bite: 300 psi.

Panda

Bamboo-crusher jaws

Tool: bamboo-crusher jaws. Bite: 500 psi.

A bite number is only one tool. Coils and kicks count too.

Whose tools would you trust?

ZOOM!

SPEED

Who gets there first?

Warthog
55 km/h
Panda
30 km/h
Warthog55 km/h
Panda30 km/h

Warthog

55 km/h

Warthog can go 55 km/h. That is fast.

Panda

30 km/h

Panda can go 30 km/h. That is not very fast.

A fast animal can miss. A slow one only has to connect.

Who takes the speed card?

HOME MAP!

HOME

They meet in the mountains. Who is built for this place?

N. AmericaS. AmericaEuropeAfricaAsiaAustraliaAntarctica
WarthogPandaBoth

Meeting biome: the mountains. Colored land is where each animal actually lives.

Warthog

Not their home · Lives in Africa

Warthog's home is the african savanna, not the mountains.

Panda

This is home · Lives in Asia

Panda lives in places like the mountains.

Almost never. Their homes sit next to each other.

Who gets the home point?

MENU!

FOOD

How do they get lunch?

Warthog
Plants and meat · Rooter.
Panda
Plants · Bamboo specialist.

Warthog

Plants and meat · Rooter.

Grass, roots, and leftovers.

Panda

Plants · Bamboo specialist.

Almost all bamboo, all day.

A plant eater is not 'safe.' Hippos and elephants still end arguments.

Whose hunting or defending helps more?

MOOD!

MOOD

Alone vs team. This rumble is one vs one.

Warthog
Lives with family
Panda
Lives alone
Warthog8 grit /10
Panda4 grit /10

Warthog

Lives with family

Looks comic, fights like a small rhino with opinions. Grit: 8/10.

Panda

Lives alone

Slow-looking, not helpless. Grit: 4/10.

Pack and pride animals lose their backup in a 1-v-1.

Who is better for a solo meeting?

PING!

BRAINS

Who notices first and thinks next?

Warthog
5/10
Panda
6/10
Warthog5 brains /10
Panda6 brains /10

Warthog

5/10

A snout for bulbs and danger.

Panda

6/10

Smell finds the right stalks.

In the wild, brains often mean leave before it starts.

Who would you score for noticing?

COUSINS!

FAMILY

Who are they related to?

Warthog
Phacochoerus africanus
Panda
Ailuropoda melanoleuca

Warthog

Phacochoerus africanus

Pigs and wild boar.

Panda

Ailuropoda melanoleuca

Other bears.

Cousins are clues, not a score.

Not a fight point. Who has the wilder family story?

WILD CARD!

SPECIAL

What special move did they evolve?

Warthog
Tail-Up Reverse Park
Panda
Sit-and-Smoosh

Warthog

Tail-Up Reverse Park

They run into dens backward so tusks face the door.

Panda

Sit-and-Smoosh

If a panda leans on a problem, the problem becomes a pancake.

A secret move here is a real wild tool, not a video-game combo.

Whose special move would change the meeting?

YOUR SCORECARD

Your scorecard

Tap who has each fact. Then tap who you think wins.

  • SIZE & WEIGHT

  • TOOLS

  • SPEED

  • HOME

  • FOOD

  • MOOD

  • BRAINS

  • SPECIAL

Your card: Warthog 0 · Panda 0 · still open 8

Who wins the meeting?

Keep going for the pretend meeting, then the science pick.

THWACK!

THEY MEET

Warthog runs first. Panda does not race. They wait in the mountains.

Pretend · fact-based · not a gore-fest

SLAM!

THE TOOLS SHOW UP

Panda is heavier. Warthog uses curved tusks. Nobody is keeping a gore score.

Pretend · fact-based · not a gore-fest

POW!

SPECIAL MOVES

Warthog tries the Tail-Up Reverse Park. Panda tries the Sit-and-Smoosh. Keep your card. The last page is next.

Pretend · fact-based · not a gore-fest

THE SCIENCE PICK

Panda!

A SQUEAKER · UNDERDOG

You skipped a final pick. The facts still stamp a champ.

On the mountains, Panda wins. Panda likes the mountains more. Warthog would still win some meetings at home.

In the wild, most animals skip a fight. We still judge who the bodies and the place would favor.

Science card: Warthog 5 · Panda 3.

Your card: Warthog 0 · Panda 0.

The last page follows the whole animal — body plus home — not one bar chart.

Send this fight

A friend can read the same facts.

Victory lap · Panda

Bamboo: the official victory snack.

Wikimedia Commons · CC. Source

1/17 · scroll