GRUNT-SQUEE
Warthog
A tusked sprinter who reverse-parks into burrows.
MEET THE FIGHTERS
Warthog vs Tortoise
Tonight's science rumble is set in a sunny arena with a splash pool nobody is allowed to hog. No snacks were harmed.
Warthog
Phacochoerus africanus
The tail stands up when they run — a follow-me flag for piglets.
Grass, roots, and leftovers. They kneel on padded wrists to graze.
Tortoise
Chelonoidis niger
Giant tortoises can live more than 100 years.
Cactus, grass, and island plants. They are living lawn mowers with a 100-year warranty.
Who do YOU think wins?
HISS-HMPH
Tortoise
A walking bunker that outlives arguments.
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