WHO WILL WIN?
Warthog
GRUNT-SQUEE
Tortoise
HISS-HMPH
THE SETUP

Warthog vs Tortoise

Warthog
Warthog
Tortoise
Tortoise

Pretend a warthog and a tortoise meet in the island. Look at the facts. Then you pick.

Would they meet?

Almost never. Their homes sit next to each other.

This is pretend and based on facts. Real animals usually hide or leave.

Read the facts. Make your card. The page waits to pick.

Corner A

Warthog

Phacochoerus africanus · A tusked sprinter who reverse-parks into burrows.

Warthog
Home
African savanna · Lives in Africa
Food
Plants and meat
Group
Lives with family
Size
Warthog is medium.

Rooter.

A snout for bulbs and danger.

Looks comic, fights like a small rhino with opinions.

  • Warthog is medium and fast.
  • Grass, roots, and leftovers.
  • Open woodland with aardvark burrows for rent.

Family: Pigs and wild boar.

Corner B

Tortoise

Chelonoidis niger · A walking bunker that outlives arguments.

Tortoise
Home
Galápagos islands · Lives in South America
Food
Plants
Group
Lives alone
Size
Tortoise is big.

Browser.

They feel footsteps.

Unbothered fortress.

  • Tortoise is big and slow.
  • Cactus, grass, and island plants.
  • Dry islands where going slowly uses less water and fewer bad ideas.

Family: Turtles and terrapins.

TO SCALE!

SIZE & WEIGHT

Stand them next to a grown-up. Who is bigger and heavier?

1.70 m

Grown-up

0.70 m

Warthog to scale

Warthog

0.50 m

Tortoise to scale

Tortoise

Height to scale. A grown-up is 1.7 m.

Warthog80 kg

About as heavy as a big dog, with a tail that flags like an antenna.

Tortoise250 kg

As heavy as a grown-up, shaped like a helmet that learned to walk.

Warthog

0.70 m · 80 kg

Warthog is medium. 80 kg.

Tortoise

0.50 m · 250 kg

Tortoise is big. 250 kg.

Kilograms are honest. A small animal can still have a strong tool.

Who would you pick for size?

TOOLKIT!

TOOLS

Teeth, claws, horns, venom, kick — what tools do they have?

  • Weapon: Curved tusks
  • Armor: Facial warts
  • Senses: A snout for bulbs and danger.

Warthog · labeled field diagram

  • Weapon: Beak ram
  • Armor: Dome fortress
  • Senses: They feel footsteps.

Tortoise · labeled field diagram

Warthog300 psi bite
Tortoise200 psi bite

Warthog

Curved tusks

Tool: curved tusks. Bite: 300 psi.

Tortoise

Beak ram

Tool: beak ram. Bite: 200 psi.

A bite number is only one tool. Coils and kicks count too.

Whose tools would you trust?

ZOOM!

SPEED

Who gets there first?

Warthog
55 km/h
Tortoise
1 km/h
Warthog55 km/h
Tortoise1 km/h

Warthog

55 km/h

Warthog can go 55 km/h. That is fast.

Tortoise

1 km/h

Tortoise can go 1 km/h. That is slow.

A fast animal can miss. A slow one only has to connect.

Who takes the speed card?

HOME MAP!

HOME

They meet in the island. Who is built for this place?

N. AmericaS. AmericaEuropeAfricaAsiaAustraliaAntarctica
WarthogTortoiseBoth

Meeting biome: the island. Colored land is where each animal actually lives.

Warthog

Not their home · Lives in Africa

Warthog's home is the african savanna, not the island.

Tortoise

This is home · Lives in South America

Tortoise lives in places like the island.

Almost never. Their homes sit next to each other.

Who gets the home point?

MENU!

FOOD

How do they get lunch?

Warthog
Plants and meat · Rooter.
Tortoise
Plants · Browser.

Warthog

Plants and meat · Rooter.

Grass, roots, and leftovers.

Tortoise

Plants · Browser.

Cactus, grass, and island plants.

A plant eater is not 'safe.' Hippos and elephants still end arguments.

Whose hunting or defending helps more?

MOOD!

MOOD

Alone vs team. This rumble is one vs one.

Warthog
Lives with family
Tortoise
Lives alone
Warthog8 grit /10
Tortoise6 grit /10

Warthog

Lives with family

Looks comic, fights like a small rhino with opinions. Grit: 8/10.

Tortoise

Lives alone

Unbothered fortress. Grit: 6/10.

Pack and pride animals lose their backup in a 1-v-1.

Who is better for a solo meeting?

PING!

BRAINS

Who notices first and thinks next?

Warthog
5/10
Tortoise
3/10
Warthog5 brains /10
Tortoise3 brains /10

Warthog

5/10

A snout for bulbs and danger.

Tortoise

3/10

They feel footsteps.

In the wild, brains often mean leave before it starts.

Who would you score for noticing?

COUSINS!

FAMILY

Who are they related to?

Warthog
Phacochoerus africanus
Tortoise
Chelonoidis niger

Warthog

Phacochoerus africanus

Pigs and wild boar.

Tortoise

Chelonoidis niger

Turtles and terrapins.

Cousins are clues, not a score.

Not a fight point. Who has the wilder family story?

WILD CARD!

SPECIAL

What special move did they evolve?

Warthog
Tail-Up Reverse Park
Tortoise
Tuck and Outlast

Warthog

Tail-Up Reverse Park

They run into dens backward so tusks face the door.

Tortoise

Tuck and Outlast

They pull in.

A secret move here is a real wild tool, not a video-game combo.

Whose special move would change the meeting?

YOUR SCORECARD

Your scorecard

Tap who has each fact. Then tap who you think wins.

  • SIZE & WEIGHT

  • TOOLS

  • SPEED

  • HOME

  • FOOD

  • MOOD

  • BRAINS

  • SPECIAL

Your card: Warthog 0 · Tortoise 0 · still open 8

Who wins the meeting?

Keep going for the pretend meeting, then the science pick.

FWOOSH!

THEY MEET

Warthog runs first. Tortoise does not race. They wait in the island.

Pretend · fact-based · not a gore-fest

KICK!

THE TOOLS SHOW UP

Tortoise is heavier. Warthog uses curved tusks. Nobody is keeping a gore score.

Pretend · fact-based · not a gore-fest

STOOMP!

SPECIAL MOVES

Warthog tries the Tail-Up Reverse Park. Tortoise tries the Tuck and Outlast. Keep your card. The last page is next.

Pretend · fact-based · not a gore-fest

THE SCIENCE PICK

Tortoise!

A CLEAR PICK · UNDERDOG

You skipped a final pick. The facts still stamp a champ.

On the island, Tortoise wins. Tortoise likes the island more. Warthog would still win some meetings at home.

In the wild, most animals skip a fight. We still judge who the bodies and the place would favor.

Science card: Warthog 6 · Tortoise 2.

Your card: Warthog 0 · Tortoise 0.

The last page follows the whole animal — body plus home — not one bar chart.

Send this fight

A friend can read the same facts.

Victory lap · Tortoise

Armor, patience, and a very committed walk.

Wikimedia Commons · CC. Source

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